so back on 18 nov i joined eugene's church to do some community work (super long ago i know but i didnt have the mood to jot it down). anyway his church went around to clean people's houses and i did some stuff similar back in Habitat. i thought such activities were meaningful plus i was free so why not. what i didnt expect was that the morning shift i chose was all smu cru ppl. so i was quite thankful and relieved that it wasnt awks volunteering alone hahaha

the house that we were assigned to belonged to this old man who was a hoarder. though he was relatively comfortable (he was living in a 5-room flat alone), he had this habit of bringing back useless stuff to his flat and keeping them. the house was LITERALLY filled to the ceiling with textbooks, clothes, electronics etc (thankfully no food items of sorts so there werent many cockroaches around) and he was just sleeping on top of a table every night cos even his bedroom/bed was filled with stuff. basically we werent the first ones to attempt to clear his house - every time volunteers tried to help him clean it doesnt stay like that for long. he would always go back to collect stuff and so within a month his house would be filled again. but his unit was undergoing the HIP quite soon so he was sorta forced to keep the areas clean so that the renovation could take place.

it took us 2h to even clear the corridor and get to his kitchen which was the first room after entering his  main door. we formed human chains to pass the items from inside the house to outside where town council workers were waiting with the green trash bins. after the bins were full they brought them down to the first floor to empty then pushed them up again. kudos to them for being so helpful cos im sure it's def outside their job scope. we finally managed to burrow our way through to the living room after 3h where we could push the green bins into the house and more efficiently clear the mess. hahaha it was really quite the sight to see two trash bins in a house.

this uncle's wheelchair bound neighbour from the next block even came by to give moral support (more like to watch show but ah wells so cute uh) and the mp also came by as well! hahah really quite the experience.

what etched in my memory more was the ride home after the session. sy let me share her grab and we were in the car talking. i always thought she was like one of the cooler seniors and quite hard to approach but surprisingly she was very warm. so she shared how smu had an unhealthy culture revolving around how grades are like the most impt thing and how students should strive to get into big companies and have "good jobs" and that strongly influenced students to be competitive and stresses them so much that it takes a toll on their mental health. and she mentioned how she has friends who were so caught up in the rat race of success that they couldnt take it anymore and ended their lives ): she specifically mentioned leo and i got a bit teary. i never knew the reason for his death and knowing it now kinda makes me feel uneasy. he was def one of the best seniors i know - smart, caring, and quite humorous and it hurts me to know that behind his jovial facade he was actually suffering so much and that we, the people around him, couldnt lift him out of his spirits. :/

anyway not to rain on anyone's parade and make this emo but i really hope that everyone treasures their lives. im glad advocating for mental health is gaining traction by the day albeit late, and i want to reassure my friends that i would be there for them if they need me.

and to michael, leo and chels, hope you're in a better place now! we all love you very deeply and miss you so much ):

Rewatched “How to be Single (2016)”

It’s supposed to be a comedy with Rebel Wilson in it but it’s actually very deep and the movie really speaks to me (cries)

Life often dictate what success looks like - being married (with kids), a top notch career etc and it’s even more prominent when people around you slowly get married or even having kid(s) one by one and you’re like the only one left...

it’s easy to lose yourself in the rat race. The movie talks about 4 girls with different views on love and relationship. I think I’m kinda like Lucy the most? - the one who THINKS she knows what she wants and will not hesitate to move ahead rapidly with plans once she thinks she found the one. truth is I think 90% of the time I’m an Alice. I write a long list of things I wanna do but I often talk myself out of it. I tell myself I want to be independent but I still need someone to fix the router (yes I said the exact same thing as her) and I still am the ditzy one who’s in love with the idea of love :/

But sometimes it’s tiring you know? You just want someone who will be your anchor, someone to listen to your rants after a long day or just someone to share that 1-1 deal with you. I’m not very close to my parents or my sister and even when we communicate I feel like they don’t understand me. but that being said, it's not a strong reason to find a partner laaaa hahah. we need to have the right attitude about love/relationships and i really love how she sums it up at the end of the movie

I’ve been thinking that the time we have to be single, is really the time we have to get good at being alone. But how good at being alone do we really want to be? Isn’t there a danger that you’ll get so good at being single, so set in your ways that you’ll miss out on the chance to be with somebody great?

Some people take baby steps to settle down. Some people refuse to settle at all. Sometimes, it’s not statistics. It’s just chemistry. And sometimes, just because it is over, doesn’t mean the love ends.

The thing about being single is, you should cherish it. Because, in a week, or a lifetime, of being alone, you may only get one moment. One moment, when you're not tied up in a relationship with anyone. A parent, a pet, a sibling, a friend. One moment, when you stand on your own. Really, truly single. And then... It's gone.

i hope everyone is happy no matter what status they are!

p.s. one habit (?) i have is to observe the locations used for filming in the movies. some inspire me for my future home/travel destinations!

My dream is to have a cosy reading corner too! 

Though I don’t read la, you know. Just looks good and comfy haha

i love cities and studio apartments!

i hike when i solo travel too! though not as insane as her to do sunrise hikes haha

 #umbrellaacademys2

if you could go back to any time within your timeline, say anytime between 10 to 20 years, who would you visit, why and what would you say to him/her? taking in account he/she might not have known you yet?

“There is a place I want to go to, but I don’t know where

There is someone I want to meet, but I don’t know who.”

                                            

Finally finished one book!! For the whole year lol. And it’s not a compulsory reading or whatsoever. I watched the movie first before reading this so when I was reading this a lot of movie scenes flashed through my mind. Overall I think the movie was better (cos I’m a more visual person) but the book revealed a lot more about LA’s thoughts cos it was written in her perspective. The movie was more special because they made it such that her bday fell on 29 Feb instead which made her meetings with J more memorable. And the whole fortune teller part at the start in the movie. Which was what she based her feels on. 

I really think WLL was such a great fit for this role she really has a LA feel 😂 though a more klutz and innocent LA as compared to the book’s mature LA. It’s one of my favourite sappy movies and one of the local films I highly recommend! (other than crazy rich asians)