so back on 18 nov i joined eugene's church to do some community work (super long ago i know but i didnt have the mood to jot it down). anyway his church went around to clean people's houses and i did some stuff similar back in Habitat. i thought such activities were meaningful plus i was free so why not. what i didnt expect was that the morning shift i chose was all smu cru ppl. so i was quite thankful and relieved that it wasnt awks volunteering alone hahaha
the house that we were assigned to belonged to this old man who was a hoarder. though he was relatively comfortable (he was living in a 5-room flat alone), he had this habit of bringing back useless stuff to his flat and keeping them. the house was LITERALLY filled to the ceiling with textbooks, clothes, electronics etc (thankfully no food items of sorts so there werent many cockroaches around) and he was just sleeping on top of a table every night cos even his bedroom/bed was filled with stuff. basically we werent the first ones to attempt to clear his house - every time volunteers tried to help him clean it doesnt stay like that for long. he would always go back to collect stuff and so within a month his house would be filled again. but his unit was undergoing the HIP quite soon so he was sorta forced to keep the areas clean so that the renovation could take place.
it took us 2h to even clear the corridor and get to his kitchen which was the first room after entering his main door. we formed human chains to pass the items from inside the house to outside where town council workers were waiting with the green trash bins. after the bins were full they brought them down to the first floor to empty then pushed them up again. kudos to them for being so helpful cos im sure it's def outside their job scope. we finally managed to burrow our way through to the living room after 3h where we could push the green bins into the house and more efficiently clear the mess. hahaha it was really quite the sight to see two trash bins in a house.
this uncle's wheelchair bound neighbour from the next block even came by to give moral support (more like to watch show but ah wells so cute uh) and the mp also came by as well! hahah really quite the experience.
what etched in my memory more was the ride home after the session. sy let me share her grab and we were in the car talking. i always thought she was like one of the cooler seniors and quite hard to approach but surprisingly she was very warm. so she shared how smu had an unhealthy culture revolving around how grades are like the most impt thing and how students should strive to get into big companies and have "good jobs" and that strongly influenced students to be competitive and stresses them so much that it takes a toll on their mental health. and she mentioned how she has friends who were so caught up in the rat race of success that they couldnt take it anymore and ended their lives ): she specifically mentioned leo and i got a bit teary. i never knew the reason for his death and knowing it now kinda makes me feel uneasy. he was def one of the best seniors i know - smart, caring, and quite humorous and it hurts me to know that behind his jovial facade he was actually suffering so much and that we, the people around him, couldnt lift him out of his spirits. :/
anyway not to rain on anyone's parade and make this emo but i really hope that everyone treasures their lives. im glad advocating for mental health is gaining traction by the day albeit late, and i want to reassure my friends that i would be there for them if they need me.
and to michael, leo and chels, hope you're in a better place now! we all love you very deeply and miss you so much ):
