It’s a weird feeling..

to see someone close to you growing..

that girl who told you she’ll marry her first boyfriend, while saying that holding hands was icky, is now a mother of 2, that girl whom you shared the bedroom for 20 years and lived at loggerheads with is now breastfeeding and teaching you how to change her baby’s nappy..you just wonder if anyone noticed your growth too? Or did you even grow?

At the same time, growth isn’t for everybody. There’s only so much one can grow..mentally I and physically. Some people reach the limit earlier, some later..if I could, of course I would wish everyone to live forever but unfortunately it’s not within my control

Perhaps it’s the uncertainty and brevity of life that makes it unfathomable and precious I guess? 

i rmb there's this scene in TGP where Eleanor was in the queue for froyo and she couldnt decide what flavour to get so she just turned around to the guy behind her and said "why dont you just go ahead?". then she was enlightened as she realized that it was the first time she didnt hog the queue or turn nasty when people behind her asked her to hurry up so she was very excited about it she immediately ran home to tell Chidi about it

and when she was recalling it to Chidi she reflected that in TGP it's actually quite easy to build good karma and be good or make morally upright choices. the reason being she didnt have to worry about anything - on earth she was always preoccupied with repaying debt and so she had to take on various dubious sales roles where she scammed people for a living hahaha and she was always selfish (buying her own cake and celebrating her own birthday so that she wont be obliged to chip in and share when it came to other people's birthdays, being mean to the dude who wanted to pass her a flyer for saving earth which resulted in her ultimate death) and did anything against her conscience in order to survive

and it's like what maslow says, people have to fulfill their most basic needs first - food/clothing etc before they can finally put priority on the goals at the tip of the pyramid - self-actualization: focusing on improving themselves, finding purpose in their lives, being grateful and contented

in 2020 a lot of people's base (of the maslow pyramid) were hit. many lost their jobs, fell sick to covid and struggled to put food on their tables. only a handful of luckier ones were still able to extend their hand to others without compromising their own resources. the world, in short, suffered tremendously. in the midst of 2020 we saw singapore slowly recovering while other countries continued to suffer wave after wave of covid - it's like watching the 5th wave or any other post-apocalyptic movie in 3D haha. but then again it's the end of 2020 now and i still dont see any light at the end of the tunnel. the world, indeed, has developed a new normal that we cant go back to the way things were pre-covid

sighs. anyways.

happy new year everyone and i hope everyone ultimately can climb to the top of their pyramids (: