Today I spent about half an hour listening to an employee share his/her views about his/her boss. Okay let’s call the employee A to disguise his/her identity. A recently tendered, and since it’s quite near to bonus month, it came as a shock as people usually hold out til bonus month (1 year worth of suffering for that increment and that possible 3-4 months extra!!) unless they really bth or they already have an offer that gives them so much more basic that the bonus is negligible.

Anyway back to A, I was in the pantry with another colleague when A came over to sit down next to me. The moment A sat down I was thinking in my head “oh shit I need to get up and move” and so I quickly reached forward to pick up my rubbish from the table but A caught it and asked if I was leaving cos he/she was here.

“No..I just wanted to throw my rubbish cos it’s too unsightly” I wittingly replied. Then I sat back down after doing so and A started pouring out his/her story..

A talked about his/her dissatisfaction with his/her boss, how the boss was disrespectful, and used an unacceptable tone with A. Okay 90% of people quit cos of their bosses, so it’s not a surprise for A's reason of resignation. Furthermore I had worked with A’s boss and I know how the boss can be quite unreasonable and unprofessional. but throughout the whole conversation i was trying hard not to judge because i have had heard stuff about A’s working attitude as well.

Sure having a good leader is really important, a leader who shows appreciation, who respects, motivates and all but at the same time the staff must be receptive to all these as well. i consider myself a millennial but i must agree that millennials arent the easiest to work with. we're too entitled; we want everything and we cant stand anything.

but i wanna focus more on the supervisor/the so-called "leader". i realize it's a Gen X mentality that most Gen X leaders don’t realise that leadership's not about the title; it’s about the way you act and treat your peers/subordinates/the people around you.  i have worked with a few Gen X-ers and i concur that their leadership theory is quite flawed. they think that just because they are placed in that position they are invincible? they talk down to candidates in interview, give snide remarks to subordinates..seriously millennials nowadays, if they dont like it they JUST WALK RIGHT OUT. nobody needs this bl**dy d*** job and nobody will stand there to listen to how you think we should be more initiative. even our parents dont talk to us this way, and just because we're receiving your salary, doesn't mean that we have to accept all without refunds.

but then again. Gen X-ers were brought up this way, they were the ones who have been through the so-called crises, and emerged the most successful today. so are we millennials being weak? am i weak for believing that leadership should be humane and not top-down?

thoughts please.

An older colleague secretly squeezed this angbao into my hands today.
“给你” she said.
I said no, you don’t have to.
She insisted as I wasn’t married
“我自己有赚钱” I rejected again.
“祝福你” she smiled.

Aww. The amount is small, but the thought is immense 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Really thankful to meet such genuine people in the office amidst all the politics ❤️❤️

is it true that a single will be more committed? as an employer would you choose to employ a single, a married candidate with no kids or one with kids if salary/calibre/experience were negligible?

i actually left this in draft for more than a week so it's not true that a single is more committed haha. but anyway, i had this thought because keromyn asked me, and i shared with him my experience of working with 3 married colleagues. colleague A who's my age has 2 kids aged 2 and 4. she leaves work on the dot to fetch the kids every day. she often takes urgent leave cos her kids fall sick often. colleague B who's about 13 years older than me also 2 kids but her kids are in primary school already. she sometimes work overtime but if her husband isnt in singapore she has to leave work on the dot to pack food for her kids. both do not have after-work activities except maybe on friday nights. stays at home on weekend. on the other hand, colleague C just got married last year, no kids, still rather yolo, goes out after work to meet friends/dinner/drink frequently.

me. single. OTs all the time, replies emails at insane hours, writes at insane hours too (it's 12.57am btw), but still finds time to mps/gym/meet friends/run errands/tuition/church. is it a time thing? or a priority thing or a commitment thing? hmm. even if i were attached i probably still do all of the above? i wont be happy if my other half restricts me to do stuff. but with kids would be a different thing i guess. priority should be the kids. i'll probably give up tuition first, then mps, then gym in that order? or maybe i would have to give up all hahhaha.

and yes.

even my anti virus is being relatable. commitment haha. so what exactly would induce one to commit? passion? money? mood? i dunno either. ive committed to teaching kids for at least 7 years now, and to the community for 3 years (though i did take a hiatus to get away from toxic people). is it cos im single? tbh all my so-called activities take up a lot of time too. i barely sleep 8h (okay but that's a habit also) my only rest day is sunday (after ss) but im not sure if im happy. i do know im overworked though. but then again i have a workaholic personality and an ocd personality, i cant stand it if i see that there's unread email so i will go and click my inbox to read and reply. unless it's not impt then i'll unread it and leave it to the next day to reply when im in the office. am i being committed? hmm. not like i'll earn more for being more efficient and clearing more work. and it's not like cos i have no kids to take care of too. what do you think?

sidenote: a lot of things have been happening in the office but its hard to share these stuff with someone. :/ just gonna keep it in til it's the right time i guess