it's been two months of an emotional roller coaster ride. lots of (bad) stuff have happened but im not the kind to share with people because im prideful. i dont like airing dirty laundry in public and def not the kind who openly admits she needs help. been trying to put what happened into words but unable to express it and i found out that it's really true to my personality

im a ISFJ, also known as the Defender personality

"Bound by fierce commitment, intense responsibility, and deep loyalty, the ISFJ is the embodiment of putting service above self in most aspects of their lives.

Weaknesses

1) Resistant to change

ISFJs regard custom and tradition with the utmost respect and can become anxious with a world they see changing too fast and people who refuse to follow established standards. ISFJs in full "tut-tut/tsk-tsk" mode may convince themselves that moral decay and a loss of respect for personal responsibility are destroying our society from the inside out, and they can become so immersed in pessimism that they will start seeing signs of degeneration and devolution everywhere they look. Diversity of thought and opinion are truly the spices of life, but ISFJs can become so enamored with orthodoxy that they forget this essential fact of existence. 

YES. just happened today. Joanna was telling me how she felt tired catching up with her friend whom she hasnt met in years and i totally agreed. i told her how my social circle revolves around people whom i have known for very long, i have no more energy to meet new people and get to know them and whatever, kinda tired seeing others so easily make new friends and do new stuff and im like just "leave me alone, im happy with my old friends/stuff"

hahaha part 2 true as well? for those who know me, my pet peeves are people who dont have basic work/people etiquette. for those who dont know me, they feel like i have high standards of people. it's not high pls. it's basic. *rolls eyes* also pet peeve for people who dont have standards at all, who dont work hard to improve themselves and think "that's just the way i am, i have no need to change"

2) Too altruistic

Loyalty is an admirable character trait to be sure; but it is a two-way street, and if the people we choose to trust prove to be dishonest or unreliable we must be prepared to walk away. Yet ISFJs struggle with letting go, and have a tendency to stay in it to the bitter end, convinced that this is the only honorable thing to do.

YES and YES. i find it hard to move on from stuff. well strength of ISFJ is that they have a great memory, they're good with detail so probs that's why they find it hard to forget bad stuff though it's taking a toll on them?

3) Take things personally

ISFJs are very private people, bordering on the shy, and this does not always mesh well with more open, unpredictable personality types. The social complexity of the environments they inhabit can overwhelm ISFJs and leave them feeling like square pegs in a universe of round holes. They have trouble dealing with conflict and a tendency to take even minor criticism personally. Combined with their stubborn streak, this can leave ISFJs feeling vulnerable and put upon, and they may resort to judgmental criticism themselves as a defense mechanism.

YES YES AND YES. Kero just said this to me the other day: "You tend to do this a lot, huh." yeah... im sorry. im just not trained to face things head on. i rather just back away and convince everything is my fault so that i have a 台阶to下. i dont wanna argue who's at fault, i'll accept it as mine and lets forget about the whole thing.

4) Overload themselves

ISFJs are known for their terrific work ethic, but over time this positive trait can transmute into workaholism and leave an ISFJ so overloaded that she loses sight of everything else. Workaholic ISFJs can be driven to distraction by their perfectionist tendencies, and even on those rare occasions when they manage to tear themselves away from the office and return home for a while, they will continue to obsess over their latest project or assignment, leaving them too distracted and preoccupied to enjoy their free time.

TRUE ALSO. Didnt want to leave the office today though it was 7pm already cos i couldnt make sense of the numbers and more apt example is that IT'S 2AM NOW AND IM STILL UP BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS ACTIVELY THINKING DEEP THOUGHTS

on the bright side i seem to be in the right job fit for my personality LOL