read this article Andrew Hui [I'm 32 and I'm dying] (shared on my fb as well) and i teared )):

wanted to write about this after i read it, but before i could pen down my thoughts, news had announced that he had passed away on 31 Aug ):

i have always loved this kind of stories about transformation in Christ because i believe in the power of Christ though i admit i havent been the best advocate of Christianity.

death to some people may be a sensitive and taboo topic but in Christianity we believe in the afterlife and the concept of heaven so it isnt much of an avoided topic but in the physical sense death is still very scary and most people have the luxury to not think about it until they're well into their 70 and 80's. but andrew doesnt. he's just 32 and the 30s are when people are just starting out their lives - a new career, a new life stage, a newborn..it's just very sad to know while people are counting up to milestones, he's counting down to the day he disappears )): countdowns are supposed to be magical, to celebrate good times..like a new year, a holiday, a new job..im reminded of the movie In Time (starring Justin Timberland) where he lives in this fictional world in which money is time and everyone has this life watch that shows you how much time/money you have and when you reach 0 you just die :O

but im glad Andrew wasnt alone in his journey. sure it'll be terrifying knowing that your days are limited but im really inspired that he found peace in the Lord. as Christians not many of us can say we fully trust our God. not when your clock is ticking, not when you are fired from your job, not when you're crippled in debts and definitely not when everything is spiralling out of control. believing in God has so much more meaning to just receiving blessings in your life, it's also about continuation to have faith even when bad comes your way like Job.

so thank your Andrew, you've been a blessing (': may you rest well in God's embrace

..the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death (1 Corinthians 15:26)

It’s 3am and my stupid brain isn’t letting me sleep again.

Instead it’s playing out a scene from my childhood. It wasn’t a happy scene though. In that playback there was a woman who was at my doorstep screaming at my mother. She was a married woman with 3 kids and they used to stay in my house for a period of time. I remember all the family’s names and I found them on Facebook (stalker alert haha). Anyway I remember I was walking home from school that day and I was terrified to go home after I saw her at my doorstep being hysterical. I know the reason why she was screaming (I could hear all her nasty words when I was hiding behind the pillar) and I still remember all the nasty words she said to me when she was a guest in my house. Just wanna forget all the unhappy stuff and pretend to not know anything and pls let me sleep urgh.

Mr Tan to me ytd: Do you use Dove shampoo?
Me: What? Did you just smell my hair?
Mr Tan: The smell very strong..

Should I be creeped out he smelt my hair or complimented that he likes it? 😂

Mounts of gratefulness today (:

-Had a good lunch catch up with my ex-boss M
-Met ex-colleagues for tea, where a senior shared with me his experiences
-Then productive church camp meeting at night where we made such good progress. you know just 2 weeks ago laoshi was telling me how worried she was about it cos we literally had nth out. and i was telling her as camp chair i wasnt worried but truth was i really was kinda scared because i had no plan also. and i actually forgot about today's meeting but then thank God that today a lot of things fell into place which i am really really glad (and i am kinda excited to see it come to fruition! :D )
-And simple things like uncle xc dropping me at marsiling mrt cos meetings are so far away from my house

you know it's so scary to lose hope sometimes. i dont look like it, but sometimes when things get to me i can get pretty negative and then i will say very mean things to people. and then sometimes when you're so caught up with life - with work with commitments with teaching with guiding and mentoring you forget that you need mentorship and guidance too (':

thank you to those who listened to my hopes dreams and goals. it really means a lot to me cos it's scary talking them out to people who might judge you (':

(Okay this post is 1 week late cos ive been procrastinating)

V. thankful for today!

Aaron (my student's dad) sat in for class today cos he was interested to be a SS teacher (THE FIRST GUY HAHA) so he has been going to a different class each week and this week he joined my class.

but backstory first. i have 6-7 kids in my class (AND THEY ARE ALL BOYS) so yup you get it. plus they're at this age where they keep talking non-stop about literally under the sun including "sensitive topics" and to make it worse i have received complaints feedback that they have been "bad influence" to the younger ones cos of the things they talk about but you know kids are kids; they really have no filter.

anyway back to Aaron joining my class. i was kinda worried/relieved (?) is it ironic to feel these two feelings at the same time? hahha. worried cos you know, boys will be rowdy and if i cannot control the class then i will "lose face and authority" as a teacher but then relieved at the same time cos his son is the naughtiest in class and kinda like the leader who starts all the nonsense in class so he can finally see how his son behaves in class and also hopefully that when he's here his son will behave.

but anyway I SURVIVED! or rather HE SURVIVED as i jokingly said to him. he was rather impressed how i was able to capture the hearts of the boys, how i could reply all their nonsensical questions and statements and he kept laughing all the way in class awww. and yup he has 2 boys at home but i have 6 so who's the more 厉害 one HAHHAHA. okay kidding.

but still v v thankful that everything went smoothly. maybe i might consider having sons next time (as if i can control hahah)

The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; Matthew 9:37

back from my yearly solo trip haha. solo travels are always full of deep thoughts for me. been travelling alone since 2015 but i dont consider myself to be an experienced traveller though. seriously a lot of things will happen to me on trips but i guess that's how we all grow and learn?

so what happened this time round hmm. i went to kl again (same as last year) but last year i squeezed in a one-day penang trip in the middle of a 3 day trip. this year i decided to just stay in kl for 4 days. i already booked a hiking trip and a pils class prior to coming so it would be less boring but still leaving sufficient time for recharging (ie retail therapy) and pampering hehe.

Summary of my trip:

DAY 1
on the day of my scheduled flight i woke up late as usual zzz (really need to learn to sleep and wake up earlier!!!) and i was so scared i would miss my morning flight because the departure terminal was at T4 and i had to take the additional shuttle from T2 in order to reach T4. it didnt help that there was a jam on PIE. so my panicked state was activated and i said some unkind words :/ thankfully i made it in time for my flight despite further hiccups with scanning my passport and checking of luggage etc.

flight was smooth, reached on schedule but then the MALAYSIA CUSTOMS were a disaster!! for about every 5 counters, 3 were closed? the queues were so long that they snaked to the arrival lounge *facepalm* dont understand why the customs will condone inefficiency but on the bright side, it makes Singapore comparatively the better country :D *insert proud face emoticon* anyway i was feeling quite guilty as i already booked a car to send me to my hotel and the driver waited for me about 1h because of the long queues >.<

anyway reached my hotel and i realized it was just opposite furama where i stayed last year LOL. okay im terrible at reading maps (another disadvantage for solo travels) so when i booked the place as long as it was within the golden triangle i was satisfied. but well the roads changed a lot since the last year i came so had to reroute and reposition myself again but i think i managed okay (:

then headed for brunch while waiting for my room to be ready

VCR: 2 Jalan Galloway, Bukit Bintang, 50150 Kuala Lumpur

quaint little cafe which was a bit ulu and had low tables and seats :/ but overall ambience and food were nice

and then watched Spiderman too. Zendaya <3 and the ticket was only RM 17 so cheap HAHAHHA. the movie was so good! highly recommend even for non-Marvel fans (Y)

DAY 2
fly pilates early in the morning. studio was within a walking distance from where i stayed so getting there was a breeze and i spent $0 on transport (Y). the place was rather quiet, in a torn down building but the interior was furbished quaintly. there were only 4 students that day, 2 first-timers other than me. we basically did pils using the hammock all the way it was so tough scary yet so fun. 100% would do it again

then in the afternoon tried to find back my shoe shop in BB but couldnt find ): so no new sports shoes this year

weather was insanely hot so thai milk tea FTW (only RM 5)

iron man at pavilion

and not to forget, overdose of BBT hehe (tealive, alley)

DAY 3
supposed to be the hike to maya falls day. according to google, the views at maya falls look like these, so stunning right but my trip got cancelled cos the guide's daughter fell sick and he needed to care for her aww )): so i went back to bed and went shopping the whole day (again LOL)

basically i did nothing i think. except for looking for food and shopping so here's some more photos of traditional breakfast and cafes hehe

 Feeka Coffee Roasters: 19 Jalan Mesui, Bukit Bintang, 50200 Kuala Lumpur, Wilayah

DAY 4

last bf here. went back to the same coffeeshop cos i was lazy and i really wanted to try the wanton mee cos it looked real good the other day. i had a mini scare when the stall looked closed, but actually it was only cos they didnt turn on the lights. here's the pic of the wanton mee i was eyeing the other day. not particularly awesome but RM 6 only!!! #cheapthrills

and then last minute shopping to spend all my cash haha before booking grab to the airport. the airport's about an hour away so i catered sufficient time but again I FORGOT HOW TERRIBLE THE CUSTOMS WERE. plus i was stopped by the guards for oversized luggage :/ so i was forced to check in. another RM 150 damage but i just paid. it's really not that im rich. i just feel that it's not worth to argue over RM 150. i admit i do earn a comfortable salary but i scrimp A LOT A LOT and im quite stingy with myself. i basically walk everywhere to save money (up to 5km) and i dont buy things on impulse. i will take a photo/screenshot of the item i wanna buy and think about it for uber long before i purchase. and before i purchase i will search everywhere for cheaper options >.< and yes i do compare shops even for buying tissue paper HAHAHA

okay anyway lesson of the year is to buy check-in luggage for my trips back, especially for malaysia and to rmb that the customs queues are insanely long hahha

it's been a rather emotional week..attended an interview on friday morning and i actually came out crying. not that it was so bad that the hiring managers screamed at me but it was the so good interview that i actually cried. the hiring manager was actually a prof at SMU who taught business mgmt too and when she was sharing her experience i could relate so much that tears just uncontrollably fell. thank you so much for the encouragement and the advice, mrs judy tan. it's just been so tough surviving SMU and then adulting but i'll work hard (':