I did the stupidest thing again this morning. My phone is quite sensitive so sometimes even when I hold it and move around I will unintentionally lock it because the keypad is accidentally pressed and it will be locked after 3 incorrect tries. 

So the same thing happened this morning and I had a sudden thought that even though my screen is locked, if I lose my phone, people can still take out my SIM card and steal my data right? A daring thought came to my mind to lock my sim but I figured that I would do it after I tapped into the mrt gantry (still had some sense there thankfully) but as you could tell..things didn’t go exactly like I planned.

Somehow there was already a default sim pin lock code?! (Which is found from your initial SIM card barcode or sth) and I didn’t know I just thought I could set my own and again I was oblivious to the fact the phone setting asked me to key in 3 times (I tot was just to verify; my sense really flushed down the drain sia) and as you would have guessed, the 3 times was a prompt to key in the correct pin else it would get locked and yes..my sim really got locked in the end ☹️

I was unable to turn on my data the whole train ride to office and I couldn’t call the M1 service for help cos the sim was locked. Never did I wish harder to reach office so I would have wifi (and play my mobile games!) and then the whole morning/period after lunch I was frantically trying to reach M1 by FB and emphasizing again and again that I COULDN’T CALL THE HELPDESK TO RESOLVE THIS and I didn’t have an alternative number to use to call because my office is so secure I couldn’t make personal calls out using VOIP but thank goodness my VOIP could receive calls and someone from M1 eventually called me to give me a new sim passcode to unlock my sim and I could have data again

Whew. Pretty tiring recounting what happened here but gentle (and mindful) reminder to myself to think thrice (and maybe more) before attempting stupid things again!!

i really dont like ppl touching my stuff!!

last week i was really annoyed at my landlady for what she did. so i prepared a parcel for jl + calean as a birthday gift for nathan and i had arranged qxpress to pick it up. i left for work the next day and placed it on the shoe rack above with the qr code for the courier to scan. later that day at work, i received a whatsapp from my landlady saying that she has taken in my parcel. siao liao i thought. i was 100% sure that it was the one i put out for qxpress because i wasnt expecting any parcel delivery. i replied her asking what colour was the parcel, was it yellow? she replied brown. ok a bit of doubt that it wasnt the qxpress parcel i put out but still 90% sure. 

when i returned home i sighed when i saw that yellow parcel outside my door. no wonder the qxpress status said pickup failed. i had called qxpress that day to enquire and they did say the uncle didnt manage to pick up. 100% sure the reason is cos she took the parcel in. nvm. i put it out again the next day at the same place and i msged my landlady that this parcel dont need to take in, it's for courier to pick up. and even so, the addressee wasnt even my name! at this point i was a bit annoyed because i kinda wasted 1 day due to the missed pickup but what she replied me made me fume even more. she said that she didnt know (understandable) and she wouldnt have brought it in if she saw me take it out and i should have informed her about it?!?! the last sentence was so out of line!! it became my fault because i didnt inform her?!?! i was so pissed but i still tried to hint subtly that i get notifications about my parcels and she doesnt need to take in my parcels for me (ie dont need to kaypoh!!!) 

in the end the pickup failed again the next day and i had to submit a refund request for it because it had failed twice and i was panicking frantically to use grab/tada to deliver but overall settled. paid a bit more for the tada express ($14.27 as compared to qxpress $4.30) but whatever right, things are not a problem if money can solve them. please tell me my feelings are justified :/

Had the weirdest dream in a long time!

I woke up at 6.15am because my tummy was a bit upset and after that I went back to bed to try to catch about 2h of sleep before my alarm rang

Very fast my body fell into a deep sleep and I dreamt that I was walking to attend a wedding with some church ppl. I rmb Adeline was asking me to guess some acronym TFP or sth and the only F word I could think of the bad one hahahhaha. We walked to the venue and it was a very small hall (like cc hall) with only 10 table that kind. Our table was at the back of the hall.

Suddenly I turned around because (someone was calling me? Or intuition) and I realised that the groom was someone I knew. (We were there cos it’s kok hao’s friend who was the bride or sth) The groom was Jason’s friend and he was notorious for being a playboy. I respectfully went forward to toast and give my blessings and went back to my seat. Once back I told the people at the table that I was going to leave (cos of this guy I think).

The next thing I recall is I had left but then I needed to go back because I had left my clothes hanging behind the bathroom door (it’s weird I know) so I walked towards the wedding venue again but this time there was a mime on the way. I rmb movies always had disasters if you ignored one so I smiled and entertained for a bit. He did the Turkish ice cream thing at the end and when he saw that I didn’t fall for it he just let the item he wanted to give me fall to the ground. It was a coffee token for the shop he was promoting iirc.

Ok then I continued on my journey towards the wedding place. The hallways outside looked quite grand but once again I pushed the door into the cc lookalike hall place. My friends had also texted me about my clothes so I went straight into the bathroom to collect them before I joined them outside.

But the weirdest thing happened again. After I sat at the table, the one left and right of me turned into Dione and Xinpei? (My jc friends) and then there was this girl walking around our table whom D was very pissed at (probably A?) and D was saying that the pair of chopsticks was with Xinpei. Talking about shared chopsticks I think. And I also asked where everyone else went and D said they went home already. Lol pretty random. And I also noticed there was a iPad on the table showing rice with a donation link to shengshiong at the bottom.

And then I woke up. 9.15am. Wow pretty intense dream for 3h :P

 (super duper backdated post) ok i always wanted to write about stuff that happened but i dont have the discipline to..forgive me! i'll try to get back to it slowly

anyway the craziest thing happened last month. it was my aunt's birthday and i took leave to go to jb to celebrate with her. we were discussing dates and when we finalized the date she was telling me that ciq (tuas side) cannot pickup so i had to take a bus out to somewhere then she will drive over and pick me. i said no need as i managed to book a train and i can grab from there. i even sent her itinerary (below) and my uncle (her brother) who was also heading there was saying so lucky i managed to book seats at last minute.

the actual day came and i queued for the train check in at woodlands. when it was my turn at the gantry the officer scanned my passport and the system showed error. so he asked me to show my ticket and i showed him this itinerary. he verified the passport number on the itinerary and let me in. i didnt think much of it as i thought it was just normal system syncing error until...

the return trip.

so again the system showed error when i scanned my passport at the gantry. similarly the officer asked to see my ticket and i pulled out this screenshot again. but he went further to ask me for my ticket proof. i told him i experienced error when coming in also but what im showing is my ticket proof. he said no and probed further to ask me to check my email/check the ktm website for my ticket and i obeyed. but i kept searching my email and i logged into the website and there wasnt any proof i booked the seats? i wanted to argue with him that i boarded at woodlands by showing this screenshot and he kept saying no, i had to leave and go to the manual counter and i was starting to get a bit angry.

i didnt give up and even went to my bank app to check cos i remembered i used googlepay to pay for the tickets but also i couldnt find anything?? 

TURNS OUT I DIDNT EVEN BUY THE TICKETS AT ALL?!?! 

it's damn puzzling till date i have no idea how this screenshot came about. did i just screenshot and not pay anything? how did i have the memory that i have paid and how did i not notice that i didnt have the actual ticket sent to me via email or sth?

anyway i didnt have time to be confused, i quickly apologized and left the queue to rush to the manual counter. thankfully e-gates are a thing now so manual counters are mostly clear (lowkey upset that i still cant use it though!!! >.<) but this thing still baffles me today! (probably just getting old and my memory is failing me haha)

had another vivid dream the other night. i dream quite frequently so i try to write them down in hopes of googling them in the morning about their meanings

most of the times my dreams are quite generic, about the conversations i had in the day etc.. always thought that it would be interesting to live in joseph/daniel's time where there is an actual person who can interpret dreams accurately but then again im not a king nor do i wanna hear about bad stuff :X

this time my dream setting was in Redhill, probably due to a convo i had earlier that day about how Bukit Merah = Redhill cos Bukit = hill and Merah = Red. anyway it was an amazing race i was in. i think there were a couple of people on my team (but i dont rmb their faces) and we were at one of the checkpoints which was along the road. another group had reached the same checkpoint and then it started pouring heavily. so we all started scrambling for shelter and suddenly there was bird shit dropping from the sky and unto my clothes. i rmb pulling up my shirt slightly to look at the damage and then cleaning franctically until the tissues were soaked with gooey shit. random observation was that my shirt had a pocket at the tummy area, which i believe was a hoodie? well i did have a pink hoodie once when i was younger and i wore that to penang where i kena-ed my first bird shit. perhaps that memory jotted the dream.

i dont rmb how the scene changed, but after that i guess we finished the checkpoint and were heading off. someone said or somehow i knew the next checkpoint was in Yishun and then someone asked me how to get to Yishun from Redhill. i instantaneously replied taking 855 or any bus to the mrt. all of a sudden the next checkpoint appeared in front of me. i went up to the checkpoint and there were 2 girls there trying to hold up the checkpoint, which was a mobile bus stop. i asked loudly why the checkpoint location changed and one of the girls explained that there was a logical reasoning. i was perplexed and i shouted back in denial that it was not logical and then i woke up. i probably woke up shouting hahahahahhaa

and then i googled about the bird shit in dream meaning when i reached office and it said it meant good luck and that good fortune was coming my way. i truly hope so!

I.DON'T.WANT.

Pretty random question but did you ever have times that you told someone no, you didnt want but the person keep insisting you do it and even keep prompting you to give reasons to say why you dont want? so i experienced that today and till now i feel pretty uncomfortable that i couldnt say no without giving any "justification". what happened to respecting people's feelings and why cant there be no reason for just not wanting it? 

on one hand i didnt want to be the party pooper. to be honest there is "no harm" in doing it. basically it was having lunch with the other lg after church and the other lg wanted to go some random ulu place for lunch. one of the guys drove, so not an issue in transport there and home but i felt uncomfortable because we already had lunch with them last week and i felt very awkward having no common topics with them. not a big fan of eating lunch with strangers and making small talks y'know.

so i shared my thoughts in not wanting to go and asked them to go ahead if they wanted. however one friend kept insisting i did, saying things like "we will be there with you, it's just you were overwhelmed last week cos there were only 2 of you sitting with them in the corner, they really want to get to know us" etc and i felt even worse that she was downplaying my feelings.

sorry bruh i dont care if people want to know me. i dont wanna know them. but in the end i sighed and just agreed to go. introvert me (or is it just adulting) feeling damn mentally tired now 😭

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

it's been about 3 months since i last sat (laid) down to write. not that there's nothing much happening but i dont have the discipline to process my daily thoughts and translate them into words

so how am i?

fine i guess. wouldnt say im very happy with life but at the same time im glad nth major happened i guess?

so what happened in the past months?

mar - busy with tax filing

end mar - moved into new place

apr - short holiday to langkawi with yy and kym (photos long overdue as usual)

may - salary increase

jun - office reno

current thoughts?

jaded. with work, with life. it seems like everyone's getting married or getting proposed to and im just stagnant in life. i guess some people prefer no change in life but no, i havent achieved what i want in life yet so i guess im not satisfied

but it's funny though, i rmb how 1 month ago there was a sermon which spoke to me about the exact thing i think about every day

i admit i can get pretty jealous about seeing other people get good things in life and forget to count my blessings sometimes

and as a christian i was very upset because i feel like i have done everything to serve the Lord and all i get in return is nothing or even bad things

and then that particular week the sermon talked about how christians should be called apart for god

non-christians on the surface may be getting better rewards in life

not implying that it's not right to chase after monetary rewards

but the difference between christians and non-christians should be our view towards monetary rewards

yes better rewards may equate to better lives on earth but eventually what's in God's kingdom will last

and i teared so badly upon hearing that

thankfully i was tuning in from home so nobody could see me cry :/

and last week one morning as i woke up in the bed of my rental room, i felt blessed that i could have this option of running away from my parents' house where i felt trapped and unhappy

many people even with money dont even have this option (':

it's tough i admit

just keeping faith that God's timing will always be perfect, that good things are worth the wait and bad things will come to past eventually ((: