I.DON'T.WANT.

Pretty random question but did you ever have times that you told someone no, you didnt want but the person keep insisting you do it and even keep prompting you to give reasons to say why you dont want? so i experienced that today and till now i feel pretty uncomfortable that i couldnt say no without giving any "justification". what happened to respecting people's feelings and why cant there be no reason for just not wanting it? 

on one hand i didnt want to be the party pooper. to be honest there is "no harm" in doing it. basically it was having lunch with the other lg after church and the other lg wanted to go some random ulu place for lunch. one of the guys drove, so not an issue in transport there and home but i felt uncomfortable because we already had lunch with them last week and i felt very awkward having no common topics with them. not a big fan of eating lunch with strangers and making small talks y'know.

so i shared my thoughts in not wanting to go and asked them to go ahead if they wanted. however one friend kept insisting i did, saying things like "we will be there with you, it's just you were overwhelmed last week cos there were only 2 of you sitting with them in the corner, they really want to get to know us" etc and i felt even worse that she was downplaying my feelings.

sorry bruh i dont care if people want to know me. i dont wanna know them. but in the end i sighed and just agreed to go. introvert me (or is it just adulting) feeling damn mentally tired now 😭

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

it's been about 3 months since i last sat (laid) down to write. not that there's nothing much happening but i dont have the discipline to process my daily thoughts and translate them into words

so how am i?

fine i guess. wouldnt say im very happy with life but at the same time im glad nth major happened i guess?

so what happened in the past months?

mar - busy with tax filing

end mar - moved into new place

apr - short holiday to langkawi with yy and kym (photos long overdue as usual)

may - salary increase

jun - office reno

current thoughts?

jaded. with work, with life. it seems like everyone's getting married or getting proposed to and im just stagnant in life. i guess some people prefer no change in life but no, i havent achieved what i want in life yet so i guess im not satisfied

but it's funny though, i rmb how 1 month ago there was a sermon which spoke to me about the exact thing i think about every day

i admit i can get pretty jealous about seeing other people get good things in life and forget to count my blessings sometimes

and as a christian i was very upset because i feel like i have done everything to serve the Lord and all i get in return is nothing or even bad things

and then that particular week the sermon talked about how christians should be called apart for god

non-christians on the surface may be getting better rewards in life

not implying that it's not right to chase after monetary rewards

but the difference between christians and non-christians should be our view towards monetary rewards

yes better rewards may equate to better lives on earth but eventually what's in God's kingdom will last

and i teared so badly upon hearing that

thankfully i was tuning in from home so nobody could see me cry :/

and last week one morning as i woke up in the bed of my rental room, i felt blessed that i could have this option of running away from my parents' house where i felt trapped and unhappy

many people even with money dont even have this option (':

it's tough i admit

just keeping faith that God's timing will always be perfect, that good things are worth the wait and bad things will come to past eventually ((:

Super duper long overdue again. It’s 4am on a workday and I’m still awake cos dem thoughts are haunting me again. Anyway,

Just (like 2 months ago!) Finished Why Women Kill. Came in wanting to see Lucy Liu but only realised that it was the wrong season about 4 episodes in (don’t ever trust non official sites haha)

But I stayed on to finish the wrong season anyway haha. Season 2 of Why Women Kill was still about women killing but there was a more focused storyline about this lady called Alma who was portrayed as fat and stupid (sorry for bluntness), or rather a simple housewife who had lofty dreams of entering some elite gardening club.

Despite her neighbour warning her to snap out of her fantasy because it’s just a lame club where Tai tais gossip about each other and that she was not atas enough to be a part of it, she was still determined to get into it. But along the way she got caught up in her lies to act like one of the uppers; she let her jealousy take over and she started killing to get what she wanted.

At first she was just silly to me. And naive. Like just an obiang housewife with no dress sense and worst of all, not smart. And with her husband’s secret revealed, it did look like her husband was the bad guy and she was a victim. But things really took a turn when she made use of her husband (and her hold of him) to get what she wanted. I seriously began to hate the character and wanted to skip all her scenes. (Oh ya her daughter was also chubby like her and I hated her guts to chase after guys?) The girl not impt but anyway

I was reminded of Ronald Dahls famous quote from Twits where “If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.”

Initially Alma was just unpleasant to me, look and character wise, but after she started killing and doing all those disgusting things it was clear to me that she was just ugly. Same like her daughter but at least she had some saving grace.

On the other hand, the original antagonist Rita, (rich 60s mean girl) though she did some pretty (no pun intended) scheming stuff like sabo-ing Alma and embarrassing her in front of the other Tai tais, she never took her pranks further by involving murder. Perhaps she was like what Ronald Dahl said too, compared with Alma the stuff she did was considered pretty mild and with her pretty exterior it made it easier to watch her.

But in the end she was killed by Alma and didn’t manage to elope with her bf *cries* despite that it’s a good ending though, Alma got jailed for all the bad stuff she had done but all the nice people were killed by her 🙈

I particularly liked how Rita reflected at the end before she was killed. She said this:
”No one is truly beautiful until they learn to love unselfishly. And those who receive such love are the richest people of all.”

Aww. Pity she didn’t get her happily ever after with Scooter but still you go girl. Proud of how you didn’t forget your roots ((:

P.S. Season 1 was way way way better. Won’t give spoilers here but with Lucy Liu you know it’s good haha

Overdue as usual but I wanna write this down cos I’m v v v grateful that everything turned out ok ((:

So we started this happy hour (hh) thing in the office where each dept took charge of planning a themed event + food and drinks every month. My hr team was supposed to do it last year but it got pushed back to this year jan. it coincidentally aligned with cny so our theme was settled and most of the programmes we had in mind were easily planned out cos of cny traditions

It was also the first of many years that we could do cny physically so we could finally give red packets in person (and have less people complain about how giving ang pows digitally is actually worth less cos of cpf and how it has no feel to receive ang pows digitally etc -.-) and also cos it was the first hh of the year we wanted to start the new year with a bang (and also cos secretly we wanted to beat the finance team in being the best hh) so there was lots of pressure to do it well

So many things happened in a flash but I’ll try to list them down here:

1. The highlight was def the lucky draw cash prizes $$$$$. we met with a lot of restrictions in giving out cash to employees and also tried desperately to find a big glass bowl to hold the lucky draw names but thankfully all worked out in the end. Found an acrylic display case cover in the office which we shamelessly borrowed :P leaving the poor display naked tho hahha

2. Very stretched organising team
We’re only a small 4 people team plus sam had already planned to go back to Malaysia so she was going to be away for most of the planning part + the actual event. thank goodness she managed to get a ticket back to sg eventually so she was around to help with the event (: Maya was also non-chinese so it wasn’t nice to get her to be involved much so mostly it was me + ep doing all the planning. v v v thankful for her (:

And there was supposed to be the new hrbp who was supposed to join 1 day before the event. But some stuff happened and she didn’t manage to join on her initial start date (secretly happy that she didn’t join but story for another day) so we were short-handed again

3. The date we chose for the hh was also very late - we did it on the 12th day of cny, after cny as many people were on leave the week before cny and tbh when we were planning we weren’t even sure whether a lot of stuff that we wanted were still available after cny O.o thankfully all was well

4. God of Fortune outfit
Another highlight of our event was having our ang moh CFO dress up in the Cai Shen Ye outfit. He’s very sporting and he’s a bit chubby so he was perfect for the role hahaha. As a surprise we kept it from our employees who was the CSY and had the CSY enter into the room as a highlight event and had him throw gold chocolate ingots. He was too engrossed in the role and was very focused in aiming at the employees instead HAHAHHA

Initially when I googled the rental was about $98 from Lazada and some costume stores. Did more googling and managed to find a cheaper vendor through Carousell (it really sells everything!) the vendor MIA-ed on me for a while so I was quite worried but it turned out fine in the end. The costume was lovely and I couldn’t resist trying it on myself before the event heheh

5. Food
We initially wanted to order buffet and had already narrowed down a caterer to order from. Unfortunately the delivery date we wanted was unavailable and so we scrambled to find other caterers - in the process we found out that cos it was the cny period, caterers only offered the cny menu - like the full main courses which wasn’t what we wanted. We wanted light bites cos of our timing and some caterers even had cny surcharge - $120 extra just cos it was cny period though it wasn’t the 1st/2nd/3rd day :O so it was a huge NO for us. and we were brainstorming and ep mentioned tarts like what finance had so I was googling tarts/pastries sth along that line and we stumbled upon this decent French bakery online where we eventually ordered pastries from (the mgmt can be a bit atas so it was perfect - food was good and looked decent and compatible for drinks) and oh the food was halal too so it was parfaite

6. Alcohol
We asked a wine connoisseur colleague for recommendations and he gave us some, including the links where we could order from. Got the office manager to help order using the corporate card. We tot all was ok cos we got the order confirmation and all we had to do was to wait for the order but shit happened as usual. The supplier called to say that the stuff we ordered weren’t available in sg so they had to order from Italy - which meant they couldn’t deliver on time for our event. Managed to order the same wine through ntuc and had them delivered on time though we couldn’t get the promo the initial website offered and we could only order less quantity cos it was pricier per bottle. But thankfully the quantity was enough for the event

7. Bak kwa
We had a mix of Malays and Indians in the company so we had to be particular in making sure our food was halal/vegetarian. Did a bit of googling and found some places like mr bean and eu yan sang sold vegetarian bak kwa so we decided to buy and try. Ended up mr bean didn’t sell them this year and eu yan sang was oos very early. Managed to find them in ntuc and tried in the office but it was quite yucky >.< the pinoy colleagues had a lot of fun trying to trial and error the oven bake timing to get the crispiest bak kwa in the meantime tho and eventually we just stuck to the normal real bak kwa hahaha

8. Fortune Cookies
We found this nice brand called HK garden which was halal and was relatively cheap so I bought 1 pack to try first. However when I wanted to buy more on the 1st day of cny, IT WAS OUT OF STOCK IN NTUC. Went to a few branches and couldn’t find at all. I panicked and was contemplating to get the other not-so-nice and expensive brand but thankfully I found the supplier online and ordered through there. phew. A bit pricier than ntuc but at least was the right brand ((:

9. Lo Hei
The date we had our event was after the 7th day so places wouldn’t sell yusheng anymore…but we went for lunch at ion one day and we chanced upon soup spoon selling it. Did a bit of google and was damn relieved that they continued to sell past the 7th day. Had a bit of hiccup when it was taken down from their website but asked the physical store and they said they still sold, just not online anymore. Eventually managed to do a pre-order to ensure the sashimi was fresh and was very thankful our employees loved it (esp the mgmt) cos the soup spoon lo hei was more westernised with quinoa (?!?! What in the world) and rocket salad and not the traditional kind

10. Ice box
B only told us she wasn’t going to chill our drinks like 1 day before our event so we scrambled to buy ice and have it delivered to us..+ extra charges for short notice delivery but no choice ):

Also borrowed a styrofoam box from Leon quite last min..thankfully he obliged and tbh when the ice came 1 bag was miserably sitting in the styrofoam box while the other 2 bags were dripping on the floor….and out of the blue the cleaner auntie came to tell me she found 3 more styrofoam boxes and had placed them downstairs for me (‘: and so my ice was saved from melting and our drinks could be kept cold. thank you cute auntie <3 <3 <3

11. Grab vouchers
We had a pop quiz and had promised $8 grab voucher to the winners. After the event we got B to send the $8 redemption link to the winners and she then told us it wasn’t possible -.- the min was $10 and could only be in denominations of 10. so we had 2 options, either to give out $8 by cheque instead of grab (meaning I had to prepare another 8 cheques and get approval what not) or to increase our prize money by $2 to make it $10 (and thereby eating into our budget more). Dunno why she didn’t tell us when we were planning it and had even communicated to the employees. I mean she would have known right? She’s the one in charge of sending out vouchers and she used grab for all the company couriers and stuff zzz but then after that I rmbed someone transferred me $15 before so it’s def not in denominations of $10 like she said. Did a bit of playing around on the app and I realised that it was indeed possible to pay people whatever amount - through grab wallet and not by purchasing the vouchers. No thanks to our office manager though. Such a B HAHAHAH

Overall though the emcees a bit cocked up (they had minor disagreements between themselves lol), a lot of people came to say that they had fun and i guess that's all that really mattered (': all those sleepless nights and running around doing errands and whatnots

This was me playing around in the CSY outfit

 Damn cute hahaha even came with an ingot and scroll as props

In other news, it’s been almost a year since I moved out of my parents’ home into a rented unit outside but unfortunately all good things must come to an end. When it was time for renewal, my landlady wanted to increase the rent by $200 so I was like no it’s not worth it anymore though I really really like the room (will miss the floor to ceiling windows the most) and given the rental market situation outside it was quite hard to find another room at this price. But thankfully someone reached out to me online; he was posting for his parents and it was quite funny how he included “Christian” in his description of the landlords (his parents) and during the viewing he asked if I had any religion and I said christian too and his mum immediately agreed upon hearing that :D can’t believe it but I know God it’s You who’s at work :D

Happy new year! 

Why is the new year always happy? Im not very sure either but since the new year is always associated with new opportunities, new clothes etc and new is almost always better i guess

Anyway im not one big on resolutions but im kinda the reflective type so i guess here are my thoughts about the new year

Things to be thankful for in 2022

1. Resumption of travel! didnt travel far last year, only crossed the border haha but being able to travel again brings so much joy and relief of stress though it's only to our neighbouring country. i feel that travel makes people open and more cultured and travel also makes me appreciative of SG - the efficient customs, the safety, the transport and the sheltered walkways. yes weird thing to mention but every time it rains im reminded of my piano teacher telling me to be grateful that SG govt (not PAP sponsored post thanks) spends money to build shelters. she had some students from hk and their parents were telling her that when they moved from hk, one of the things they realized that sg was different from hk was the sheltered walkways which they were very grateful for.
2. Moving out of my parents' house. though i wish it's cos i got married or got my own place but i guess it's close enough. am very appreciative of the freedom i get and the opportunity to be independent (though i say i was rather independent since young, i washed my own clothes, i cooked etc) but it's different when it comes to making decisions. one thing i hated back home was that i couldnt use the kitchen freely and i couldnt buy home appliances though i said i would pay for them. oh and how i would be scolded for forgetting to off the wifi before i went to bed. yes sounds stupid but my father is very particular about leaving wifi on when nobody is at home or when everyone is asleep :/ maybe it did make a difference in the internet bill? i dunno
3. Managed to catch up on some shows on my bucket list. haha it's a simple joy for me. i finished a couple of korean zombie/supernatural dramas like happiness, kingdom (my fav genre hehe), netflix ori like emily in paris and wednesday (addams) (pls watch it's good) and some disney movies like encanto (skipped all the singing but is still good) heh. oh and im waitng for alice in borderland 2 to be uploaded on (unconventional) sites hehe

Things to focus in 2023

1. Sleeping earlier hahah. ironic that it's now 1.30am as i type this..i have been sleeping at 4+am the past few nights cos i was playing games/watching shows and i told myself i'll try to sleep earlier but i always feel the gush of inspiration to write in the middle of nights :O anyway work is starting in 2 days so yes i'll sleep earlier haha
2. More discipline in health. exercise has been on my list of resolutions for years buttttttt no excuses haha. im quite a lazy person to be honest. you know there are those 20min exercise videos that you can do every day but i still dont do them 😳 haha but i think other than exercise i feel that i should work on my diet too. i promise i'll cut on macs/kfc/fried food/oily food and DRINK MORE WATER. seems simple but i realize that if im in the office i rarely drink water. i just drink coffee and buy avocado for lunch and then it's tea after lunch  😳😳😳
3. Reading/Studying. i like going to the library or buying books at bookshops actually. but i dont read hahahahahaaha. if there is the movie version of the book i would rather spend the 2h to watch it. but i try to read i guess. like maybe a few pages before bed? lately travels to malaysia have also prompted me that i need to work on my melayu again. i learnt it before and still can comprehend 50% of the signs in malaysia and can converse comfortably to get around but i wanna push my ability to 80%? or best be effectively trilingual which can be helpful for mps hehe
4. Learning a new skill. been wanting to re-learn blading for a while, anyone wanna learn with me? or maybe skateboarding. seems cool!
5. and most importantly. more focus on devotion. im scared to admit but i think i might have backslided a bit ): 2022 hasnt been the best year and i confess that i may not have been the best christian. i use vulgarities, i judge people and in 2023 i will try to be more conscious of my actions. and be more disciplined in daily devotions (i did day 1 so im off to a good start! :))

that's all for now i guess and p.s. looking for an accountability partner on my list above :D and hopefully when i revisit this in a year i can say i am proud of myself (': gn!

hello! (:

it's been a long time since i properly sat down to journal. i've been rather lazy and undisciplined though i do have many thoughts every day hahah. ironic that i watched a TSL video last night on getting the talents to be disciplined and wake up at 6am for the whole week but i dont think that motivates me enough haha

anyway the past months have been rather eventful with many firsts (': long post ahead so be warned

1) finally took a class on latte art! it's something that i wanted to do for a long time. did it during my solo trip to KL and paid RM 300 for it (x2 cos the guy said he didnt receive my money and made me send again -.- pretty sure he was lying but fine) rather interesting course but i sadly destroyed my white shoes *cries. thankfully it was just $20 shoes

                                 

                                    probs 1/4 of the coffee i wasted before i got a good one                         

    

      my poor shoes ):

2) did a baking class when i was in KL too. not exactly a first time but proud of how things turned out (one step closer to my cafe dream maybe?)

matcha cheesecake (: i decorated the strawberries myself

3) did a public speaking in full chinese for the first time at a grassroots events for the summary of ndr. it was supposed to be lixin doing it but she had a terrible fall and cmi so i agreed to do it :O at first i thought it was only to like 10pax but when chris sent a photo of his audience i got damn scared cos it looked like 30-50 pax but im glad everything turned out fine for my sessions. all the aunties and uncles were very supportive and cute (and thankfully they didnt have any hard questions) :D im kinda proud to say that im bilingual too hehe 

4) finally managed to do foundation day after last year's hiatus. we went to kayak n clean the kallang river. so fun but tiring haha

5) visited a new city Kluang in malaysia HAHAHAH thanks to MY as usual (my jb-loving friend) we becoming more and more malaysian lol. it was a short weekend trip but we managed to squeeze in an organic farm tour, a coffee factory run and had my fav bkt ((: but on the bus back the jam was so bad though it was only a 2h ride. i had to pee so bad even though i went to the toilet before the bus ride and i was praying to God so hard not to let me pee my pants. really hope this kind of situation never happens again. im more afraid of losing my face than spoiling my bladder :3

albeit all these, i do have some worries as well

Finances - i think it's hard not to compare when you're out with others but im starting to feel underpaid and discontented with work now that i hear people get big bonuses and better salary increases and then at my workplace it's always budget constraints and delayed salary increases. i know im doing better than some others and i keep telling myself that its more impt if the competition is a healthy push to do better and not in a bid to outdo nor to make ourselves less happy. but it's so funny how i used to live with intern allowance or fresh grad pay and i thought i was quite well off. adulting now means phone bills, insurance, credit card bills (and for me, rent - but i dont regret it) but ah wells, as long as one is happy then it's good enough! just live within your means :) 

10 sept was also world suicide prevention day. a few years ago i probably would have dismissed this but as there is more and more awareness on mental health, i have to come to understand my (ex) emotions a bit more. not a lot of people know this, but i knew of two (and a half) people who took their own lives. 

the first one was leo, my senior from uni. i got to know him through teck as leo and nate were joining the samsung competition and they need a female&junior name to add to the group. tldr "we" won (i really didnt do anything) and we got to have a sponsored trip to korea to visit their industrial city Suwon and even have an internship in samsung sg. unfortunately the internship was a waste of time (they really were forced to make a hc for interns so i didnt learn much) and leo didnt even get a chance at the internship cos of his citizenship status. i first learnt of his death through fb when suddenly many friends were posting on his fb page saying rip etc. i didnt really know what was going on until his sister confirmed the death with the funeral deets on his wall ): i rmb going down to the funeral parlor at sin ming, none of the family members shared the cause of his death and i only knew it through a mutual friend a few years later that he was actually struggling emotionally to keep ahead in the rat race despite all his humour facade and positive vibes

the second one was chels whom i learnt of her suicide through xian. in many people's eyes she was weird and introverted but i always just thought she was one with very deep thoughts. it's always funny looking back at how i didnt know she and cs (her brother) were related though they both had the same rare surname. i knew her brother first through xian and then chels at cru but they were so so so different that i never associated their relationship. i even bullied cs to carry my luggage when we were in japan (oops). i dont talk to cs anymore but i hope he managed to move on and heal (':

and the half was the recent policeman who shot himself at marina bay ): the article didnt post the guy's name but when i saw the name online i suspected it was jm's brother cos it was another rare surname. and then i saw my ex-coach posting on it and i realized that it was indeed jm's brother ): just wanna share what she wrote to her brother and i sincerely hope her family does find closure! i admit that it's a difficult topic to touch on and though morbid, i do hope that more cases will help to desensitize this. 

from jm ):

i grew up with very traditional parents who never showed their care openly. whenever i try to show displeasure they would always say things like "everyone else also dont have this problem, why only you have" or whenever i wanted my personal time and not have visitors or to go visiting they would say things like "it's not that i ask you to plan or go out of the house, you just sit there and do nth". it was very tiring to voice my opinions as they would say that i like to argue and partially because of this i chose to move out. i havent actually tried to tell them my actual feelings and i think i need a few more years to reconcile this but actually many times i think if they had someone else's daughter, their daughter might have not taken things so well lol. i know that they dont mean it and it's probably the way they were brought up but im trying to not let myself be influenced and absorb all this negativity :/ wont say that im a saint either but im trying to do better every day (':

and that's pretty much about my life now i guess. im not someone who posts stories about my life on social media every day so til next time when i have the discipline to sit and write in the middle of the night (that's why i cant wake up at 6am lol)

next country of travel after covid! batam! i used to love batam cos its cheap - 2 way ferry for ~$45, cheap cafes, shopping, (and cheap thrill of motorbike rides that my mum doesnt allow me to take in sg) but after covid the ferry tix are $70 now :O haiz nvm la just go see see hor. and i used to stay in harris cos it's affordable and it's right next to the batam center terminal so no $$ and time spent to get cab. before gojek and grab you could only hire cabs from their concierge and the prices were fixed and you guessed it, they would often jack the prices to earn $$ (still considered cheap but still...) :X 

anyway this time round i went with meiyen's friends, lets call them B1, B2 and B2's gf C. i kinda know B1 and met B2 before but it was the first time travelling with them. we had this wa group set up where they were talking about the hotel and everything before the trip. tbh i dont like looking at group chats so when i finally opened the chat after hours it was already 100+ messages. i kinda summarized the texts and they were finalizing on this resort called nongsa marina and resort in the northern part of batam (batam center terminal is at the central-south) and i tot they already booked it for 5 of us since they finalized it but NO. they told me to confirm with meiyen before we booked? okay so first red flag for the 3-2 divide.

our ferry was scheduled to be 9 July 4.40pm. i had the PAP walk in the morn so the timing was just right for me to go home, bathe and grab lunch after the walk before heading out but as murphy's law goes..anything that can go wrong will go wrong. and indeed they did. the ferry operator sent an email on friday night to inform that our 4.40pm ferry was cancelled, and they were bumping us on the 2.30pm ferry at another depature terminal instead (tanah merah instead of the original harbourfront). so we panicked as it was quite last min. i was still hesistant whether to go for the walk in the morning. but eventually i did, MY managed to contact the ferry operator to get 3.30pm tix at harbourfront terminal and everything seemed to be fine.

but when we disembarked the queue at arrival was freaking long ): but we were quite entertained by the malaysian couple in front of us who were squabbling (could tell they were malaysian cos of their accents). we couldnt hear much tbh it was only the girl who kept raising her voice but she kept saying the bf was raising his voice at her?! hahahha excuse me even though he was in front of us we could only hear you okay. and the girl kept saying things like "not happy then break up" really like drama hahahha. and there were many other classic lines like "dont touch me!!" when the guy tried to pull her to keep up with the queue and "not happy then i will leave" (but she didnt leh, really dramatic)

we finally managed to clear immigrations after 2 freaking hours (even C who took the later ferry had caught up with us) and we were supposed to meet the 2 guys for dinner but they were still quite far away in some other mall and MY and i were quite tired and sticky so we decided to grab to the resort first to check in, put our stuff and bathe, leaving C alone at the terminal to wait for the guys.

along the way in the cab, B2 was angry at us for leaving C alone? though both the guys had already said they were on the way to the terminal before MY and i ordered our grab, they only picked C up at the terminal when we were reaching our hotel which was a good 30-40min away. they "thought" we were still with C at the terminal so they "took their own sweet time" to arrive. what nonsense. even if we were still there at the terminal, we already kinda made plans for dinner so why still take own sweet time? ridiculous.

anyway end up MY and i just had dinner at the hotel. which was not too bad imo tho pricey. they were having some event that night so it was like a dinner under the stars, with pretty lights set up romantically. not the right partner to be with but hahahaha.

the guys and C went off to eat a sumptuous seafood dinner but i didnt feel i was missing out tbh. not a big fan of seafood hahahha. but we did meet them for some light drinks in the hotel after they came back. so in the room we were sharing about our day - the long immigration, the quarreling couple and all and B2 kept saying we were stupid for not stuffing a $5 and asking them to tolong (help)? omg how could he even suggest this illegal thing. maybe not illegal in batam but $5 seriously? they would fall for a $5? but still, kidding or not, is really something i will never do. even if it really helps to cut the line. but illegal? no thank you.

okay that's him maybe. and then day 2 was really epic as well. they literally had no plans but to sit at the pool and do nothing but the pool was very dirty and not like the infinity ig worthy kind? hahahha. not judging but im the kind who cant sit still so me and MY wanted to go out to shop and get massage/nails done whatever. BUT THE PLACE DAMN FREAKING FAR NO GRAB WANTED TO TAKE US. i managed to book a grab bike but that was only for 1 and MY didnt managed to book so i left to go to the mall first. pretty much shopped about 2h by myself before we managed to book a grab car for her to come join me. and then we managed to go to my fav cafe opp bcs yay! so thankful it survived covid.

and then for dinner we wanted to meet the other 3. we texted to see if we should meet them at nagoya snd they said ok. but they said they were still running their errands so we can walk around by ourselves first before meeting them. so MY and i went to the hypermarket to get some essentials but before we were done, the other 3 said they were done and they were leaving immediately. no pre-warning? but we werent done at the hypermarket so the 3 just left without us?!?! and said that they will text us the dinner address place so we can grab there ourselves? eventually they got the private hire to circle around the mall before picking us up cos they couldnt wait at the entrance due to mall restrictions. but whatever la. like i tot we were meeting to go dinner together? huh?

and at dinner B2 kept saying i was stupid to throw my life away for a few dollars cos bike is so dangerous? just be generous and spend that extra few $$ more to get a grab car instead. and how could i leave MY there at the hotel. hello? not as if i wanted to?? and not our fault the place so far nobody wanted to pick us up? *rolls eyes*

haiz i dunno but anyway the whole trip it felt like B1 and B2 were upset at us? guys are so petty man *rolls eyes*

and came third day where we were going home. so thankfullllll. and thankful there was strong aircon on the ferry back. else cant cool the heat in my heart. shag trip >.<