Sunday, January 12, 2025

i havent written in so long..and in a blink of an eye it's 2025 already *crying face* how does time move so quickly..ok im not one who creates "end of XXXX year season" reels and stuff but i believe that reflection is impt so i'll try. here goes

im wont say im pessimistic, but im not a huge fan of celebrations/big gatherings/birthdays/new years etc. i guess i dont like surprises? it's hard to explain without feeling non enthusiastic but i dont like new years/birthdays/coming of age stuff because i feel that they are a reminder of how another year has passed and i havent achieved my goals? haha does it sound too...cocky? sad? morbid? maybe you would ask then, is my goal too unrealistic that i cant reach or when will i reach my goal? im not sure to be honest, currently i have one goal but i guess if i achieve it i'll set another one for myself and then every year i will still not be excited

anyways digressing again but i'll try to reflect on 2024 and maybe 2023 together (i skipped 2023 because i really didnt think of anything)

one of my favourite quotes is from How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM). watched it in 2013/2014 and though i didnt finish the last few episodes (i read spoilers), lots of scenes get stuck in my head. maybe i reasonate with Ted, or Robin or Lily, im not sure but despite the comedy there are def some scenes which are very meaningful and realistic. 

"Hey Ted,

You wrote down all these things to say good-bye to, but so many of them are good things. Why not just say good-bye to the bad things? Say good-bye to all the times you felt lost...To all the times it was a 'No' instead of a 'Yes'...To all the scrapes and bruises...To all the heartache...

Say good-bye to everything you really want to do for the last time, but don't go have one last scotch with Barney, have the first scotch toasting Barney's new life. Because that's a good thing, and the good things will always be here waiting for you."

Lily to Ted, Season 9 Ep 3

*SPOILER* before this the audience saw how Ted struggled with finding the one, the goat, Robin's rejection, choosing to forgo Victoria, being left at the altar and all that, i dont think normal people will encounter as many setbacks as Ted did (it's a drama for a reason) but i love how Lily phrased this. this quote by Lily is a good reminder to me/everyone to look forward despite all the bad stuff that happened

so (retrospective) to the end of 2024, i want to say goodbye to:
  1. someone who hurt me a lot in 2024. i never thought that i could ever be as upset by someone than i ever could, but i really was. but thank you for your cousin Chancy's advice to you, thank you for giving me the closure i needed. goodbye and good luck to you
  2. my old job. moved to a new place in nov 2023 and celebrated 1 year anniversary at the new place. goodbye to the times that got me questioning the purpose of HR and goodbye to those rigid people/methodologies that belong to the 80s
  3. the first room i ever rented. thank you for the beautiful sunset glows, the solace i needed when i was feeling lost. no thank you to the landlady who struts around in her nightgown all day though (oops)
  4. a friend forever. i was angry at him for a while because he kept saying that i wasnt demure, i will never get married kind but when the news broke about his suddenly passing away, i was in initial disbelief at first. i subsequently came to realize it wasnt a joke and suddenly all the demeaning things he said to me didnt matter anymore ): why was i so petty to hold grudges against all the childish things he said😭
i can only think of these for now but i'll update as we go along. if you are still reading this, thank you again for being a subscriber to my weird not-so-mainstream thoughts
rmb: #welistenandwedontjudge (2024 tiktok/ig trend lol)

i'll talk about what happier stuff/stuff that im grateful for next post i promise! #kthxbye

In English we say: 'Goodbye.' But in poetry we say: 'I'll keep you tucked away in my heart.. for the rest of my life.'
Whitney Hanson

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