Today I spent about half an hour listening to an employee share his/her views about his/her boss. Okay let’s call the employee A to disguise his/her identity. A recently tendered, and since it’s quite near to bonus month, it came as a shock as people usually hold out til bonus month (1 year worth of suffering for that increment and that possible 3-4 months extra!!) unless they really bth or they already have an offer that gives them so much more basic that the bonus is negligible.

Anyway back to A, I was in the pantry with another colleague when A came over to sit down next to me. The moment A sat down I was thinking in my head “oh shit I need to get up and move” and so I quickly reached forward to pick up my rubbish from the table but A caught it and asked if I was leaving cos he/she was here.

“No..I just wanted to throw my rubbish cos it’s too unsightly” I wittingly replied. Then I sat back down after doing so and A started pouring out his/her story..

A talked about his/her dissatisfaction with his/her boss, how the boss was disrespectful, and used an unacceptable tone with A. Okay 90% of people quit cos of their bosses, so it’s not a surprise for A's reason of resignation. Furthermore I had worked with A’s boss and I know how the boss can be quite unreasonable and unprofessional. but throughout the whole conversation i was trying hard not to judge because i have had heard stuff about A’s working attitude as well.

Sure having a good leader is really important, a leader who shows appreciation, who respects, motivates and all but at the same time the staff must be receptive to all these as well. i consider myself a millennial but i must agree that millennials arent the easiest to work with. we're too entitled; we want everything and we cant stand anything.

but i wanna focus more on the supervisor/the so-called "leader". i realize it's a Gen X mentality that most Gen X leaders don’t realise that leadership's not about the title; it’s about the way you act and treat your peers/subordinates/the people around you.  i have worked with a few Gen X-ers and i concur that their leadership theory is quite flawed. they think that just because they are placed in that position they are invincible? they talk down to candidates in interview, give snide remarks to subordinates..seriously millennials nowadays, if they dont like it they JUST WALK RIGHT OUT. nobody needs this bl**dy d*** job and nobody will stand there to listen to how you think we should be more initiative. even our parents dont talk to us this way, and just because we're receiving your salary, doesn't mean that we have to accept all without refunds.

but then again. Gen X-ers were brought up this way, they were the ones who have been through the so-called crises, and emerged the most successful today. so are we millennials being weak? am i weak for believing that leadership should be humane and not top-down?

thoughts please.

An older colleague secretly squeezed this angbao into my hands today.
“给你” she said.
I said no, you don’t have to.
She insisted as I wasn’t married
“我自己有赚钱” I rejected again.
“祝福你” she smiled.

Aww. The amount is small, but the thought is immense 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Really thankful to meet such genuine people in the office amidst all the politics ❤️❤️

is it true that a single will be more committed? as an employer would you choose to employ a single, a married candidate with no kids or one with kids if salary/calibre/experience were negligible?

i actually left this in draft for more than a week so it's not true that a single is more committed haha. but anyway, i had this thought because keromyn asked me, and i shared with him my experience of working with 3 married colleagues. colleague A who's my age has 2 kids aged 2 and 4. she leaves work on the dot to fetch the kids every day. she often takes urgent leave cos her kids fall sick often. colleague B who's about 13 years older than me also 2 kids but her kids are in primary school already. she sometimes work overtime but if her husband isnt in singapore she has to leave work on the dot to pack food for her kids. both do not have after-work activities except maybe on friday nights. stays at home on weekend. on the other hand, colleague C just got married last year, no kids, still rather yolo, goes out after work to meet friends/dinner/drink frequently.

me. single. OTs all the time, replies emails at insane hours, writes at insane hours too (it's 12.57am btw), but still finds time to mps/gym/meet friends/run errands/tuition/church. is it a time thing? or a priority thing or a commitment thing? hmm. even if i were attached i probably still do all of the above? i wont be happy if my other half restricts me to do stuff. but with kids would be a different thing i guess. priority should be the kids. i'll probably give up tuition first, then mps, then gym in that order? or maybe i would have to give up all hahhaha.

and yes.

even my anti virus is being relatable. commitment haha. so what exactly would induce one to commit? passion? money? mood? i dunno either. ive committed to teaching kids for at least 7 years now, and to the community for 3 years (though i did take a hiatus to get away from toxic people). is it cos im single? tbh all my so-called activities take up a lot of time too. i barely sleep 8h (okay but that's a habit also) my only rest day is sunday (after ss) but im not sure if im happy. i do know im overworked though. but then again i have a workaholic personality and an ocd personality, i cant stand it if i see that there's unread email so i will go and click my inbox to read and reply. unless it's not impt then i'll unread it and leave it to the next day to reply when im in the office. am i being committed? hmm. not like i'll earn more for being more efficient and clearing more work. and it's not like cos i have no kids to take care of too. what do you think?

sidenote: a lot of things have been happening in the office but its hard to share these stuff with someone. :/ just gonna keep it in til it's the right time i guess

really a lot a lot a lot of patience and empathy are required in the people business. generally i think im high on the patient side? but there are 3 kinds of people that i have a short fuse for - 1) immature, 2) irresponsible and 3) people who waste others' time. and i see these traits in many millennials nowadays.

on top of that, i cannot stand people (especially girls!) who

• cuss (in every single FREAKING sentence) hahahah im doing that too doesnt it sound annoying 
• dont respect themselves and their bodies

i've had younger girls come and tell me that flirting with guys is okay because they treat the guys like bro. so it's okay to "lead them on" because "they will never fall for them". no pls. you bro them doesnt mean they feel the same way towards you. pls respect yourselves. girls should have the 矜持(jin chi), not sure how to translate it accurately into english. dignity?

and the most jaw-dropping line i heard tonight: "i'm here for a fun time, not a long time." :O their nonchalant attitude really gets on my nerve.

perhaps it's just a millennial thing i feel. people who are rude to seniors, who are not interested in helping others but volunteer anyway (for what? friends? fun?), people who come to volunteer but end up spending their time complaining, talking about others and stirring politics. i was pretty sure i wasnt brought up this way; my parents didnt teach me to live life this way, neither did my teachers, nor my friends. how did the current generation turn out otherwise? its sad and infuriating when you see youngsters these days snapping at people older than them and brush it off as "that's how i talk" and "if you dont like it, dont talk to me". NO. please respect yourselves and others. be humble.

End of yet another week. technically tmr's friday so there's one more working day but i took leave for tmr so it's long weekend for me yay! (actually the workaholic me is still going to work but at least i'll get to choose a working location with a nicer view heh) dont ask me why i took leave, it's for a very specific reason (no, im not going for any interview) it sounds stupid but it means a lot to me. now. really need some time away to clear my head and heart ): oh wells

anyway my week has been pretty bad; i'll rate it a 3/10. initially the week started pretty well with my primary school friend's wedding in the morning (i have known her for 18 years of my life can you believe it?!?!) albeit bad decisions again to stay up til 2am having macdonalds with an old friend the night before; but then again im grateful for these rare deep one-on-one conversations. im pretty much a night owl (trained since jc) so kinda used to it but it's a bad habit and i acknowledge i need to work on this haha. anyways weddings are a good platform to catch up with old friends (the real 10-year challenge here okayyyy) and always so magical (':

and it was kind of a new experience for me as my friend had her solemnization and her wedding lunch together at a hotel. though kinda weird that the solemnization is not done in a church but i guess it's pretty much cost savings? haha. not my kind of wedding though. for me i just want a simple private dinner/garden/overseas beach kind of wedding (:

so that was saturday. then as usual sunday couldnt wake up for church in the morning LOL (im sorry its not funny i really need to learn how to manage my sleep hours better) but i did wake up on time to go back to the office to clear work (YES SINGLE LIFE IS A WORKAHOLIC LIFE) then came monday which was the killer ): ridiculous things have been happening in the office but it's really becoming very ridiculous. speechless. things are getting quite bad that im slowly spirally losing faith in my job :/

anddddd one more big thing happening on monday sighs..

really need a boost of good vibes badly ):

Another Monday, another crazy night. Record breaking time of leaving at 12am tonight! (or should i say this morning hahha) anyway i was so shagged from work (another crazy thing happened at work today so i couldnt leave earlier but that's for another post) so i didnt want to write i just wanted to be advisor so i sat next to hazel meimei. after that the queue was still so long so MF and i took a laptop and opened a counter. i was telling uncle jo to give me the easy ones (fine, SSO) and there was one which seemed easy (she came to collect FV) but turned out to be so complicated :/

Resident was a mother who was about 2 years older than me but had like 6 kids?!?!?! (clar was asking me what was i doing with my life and i said she older so she first HAHAHHA) anyway Resident came on the behalf of her husband who was currently in prison and was selected for some work and training vocation programme but wasnt successful due to his outstanding traffic fines. AND MIND YOU, THERE WERE LIKE $2000 WORTH OF FINES DUE. yes no kidding man. she brought out like a thick wad of fines ranging from LTA to TP to HDB and URA. she said that her husband just informed her that he got this lot of outstanding bills since May 2018 and that certis cisco has even been to her house to arrest her husband because he has failed to pay these bills and they have been brought up to court that's why they had to arrest him but they didnt know he had already been in jail cos of petty theft or sth blah blah. just so speechless after hearing that. no points for guessing what race they are haha but truth is, reality check man. the husband is the only one working, he doesnt have a great education so he only works as a valet, the wife is a housewife caring for 5 kids (one daughter being cared for by the aunt), the husband chalks up all these fines, gets into prison, family forever relying on SSO and MUIS financial aid, kids not having good education, cannot find good job and earn more money *facepalm* it's a vicious cycle man

and i think she saw our judgmental faces so she explained, quote her, "money can be earned but their [the kids] happiness cannot be bought". i mean yes you love kids, i love kids too, but reality check here. you dont have enough to even feed yourself how to feed 5 kids??? and then forever worrying about not enough money not enough food, is that true happiness?? reminds me of one staff we had who also said no money so want to apply job at our company but hire her le then she whole day take unpaid leave see doctor or some weird excuse. housewife at home never fall sick but once start working every day sick and it's the legit sick kind. 1 week can take like 3 days unpaid leave. ??? either sick or fall down in mrt or son forgot house keys etc. cant understand such people. meeting so many strange people every day haiz.

sidenote: 4 people said that i slimmed down today! secretly happy hehe

Choices. This word seemed to be quite prevalent this week. One colleague told me he was unhappy at work and wanted to quit so I told him that he had a choice - two choices in fact, to let the unhappy thing get to him or to give up and go. Then again the word choices popped up when I was having dinner with my ex-colleagues girl clique. One of them was sharing her past stories where she made bad choices but she stuck by them and was grateful she did. Yes we all have choices, question is will you stick by and bear the consequences of your choices?

(I need to wake up early tmr but my stupid brain is making me write this down while Lady Gaga’s Shallow keeps replaying in my head urgh)

*update: I found the post which describes exactly what i wanted to say! and here goes:
"My grandma told me there are only two types of decisions: Decisions made out of fear and decisions made out of growth.” For instance, do you stay in your job because you are afraid you won’t get another job? Or do you stay in your job because you are excited about the growth potential there? Do you stay in a relationship because you are afraid you won’t meet someone else, or you are afraid of hurting someone else? Or do you stay in a relationship because you are truly grateful the other person is in your life (and hopefully, vice versa). Every decision I have made has either been fear or growth. Not just big decisions but even the smallest decisions. And the fear-based decisions never worked out for me. When I made a fear based decision it was always because I was giving power to someone else. The growth-based decisions all resulted in miracles I could not have imagined. With growth-based decisions you feel it in your body: an expansion of your chest, ideas in your mind, a feeling of competence increasing. A feeling of freedom expanding. A growth-based decision becomes the story of your life later. A fear-based decision turns into regret."