okay gotta write this down while i still remember most of the details...

had a dream on sunday night. couldnt rmb much of it when i woke up cos i think the dream was ending but here was roughly part of it.

3 characters in my dream. myself, angel my colleague (60% sure was her) and one more character which was possibly violet (?) another colleague of mine but i rmb the girl was dressed in a white cardigan which is not her style. anyway the topic was on where to eat for lunch (which is our usual daily topic LOL) and someone mentioned suntec city. kinda weird cos suntec is so far from my office and i dont like to eat there cos i always get lost in that stupid mall. so "violet" was asking how to get to suntec and we were on the phone i think and angel said to ask violet to come to meet us (me and her) first then we will walk over together. and the weird thing was, i rmb angel standing at this particular spot between the sheltered pathway and the overhead bridge outside my house. so exact spot haha

then after that i think violet hasnt appeared (though i rmb her in the white cardigan?) so me and angel were walking in the direction towards my house. and as we approached my house there was this japanese shrine/altar outside my house. cant really describe the shrine/altar but i vividly rmb there was this green hanging cloth and there was a japanese word printed on it. and then again this white cardigan girl appeared in front of the shrine/altar and she was kneeling on one of the many light brown kneeling pads which had also mysteriously appeared. but this time i was very sure the white cardigan (+ flower dress i think) girl wasnt violet though she was back-facing me. and then i just woke up cos my alarm rang haha

so many weird scenarios (dreams arent supposed to make sense right) but it's quite interesting cos i usually dont dream in colour? or is that i dont rmb the colour? just googled. 12% of people dream exclusively in b&w. but it's quite interesting that in this dream i rmb most of the colours of the scene, the peach-orangey tiles of the pathway, the colour of the characters' clothes, the shrine with the green cloth..

when i woke up i also googled what dreams about shrines/altars mean and here are some cool results:

• To dream of an altar signifies that you need to communicate with your inner self through meditation
• Kneeling in front of an altar in your dream suggests that your most hidden wishes will come true
• Seeing an altar means happy marriage, and if someone kneeling in front of it, that particular person needs help in the real life

and some more interesting facts about dreams in general

• We dream an average of 2h a night (WOW) --> That's like 6 years of dreaming in a lifetime
• Negative emotions in dreams are more common than positive ones
• In Our Dreams, We Only See Faces That We Already Know
• If you are snoring, then you cannot be dreaming
• We dream mostly in pictures, with the majority of dreams being mainly visual with little sound or movement
• You’re more likely to dream about s** if you sleep facedown
• Nightmares occur at a similar time at night as well as dreams about death???

hehe okay good night time to dream more random stuff

it's 1am. everyone is busy getting married, giving birth, having their 2nd kid and guess what..yes im still outside working. im a night owl yes. i love working at 11-3am that sort of timings cos it's quiet and condusive. just need a cup of coffee/smoothie and my laptop. i dont expect people to pity me for sleeping very late/very little cos i like this kind of serenity and also one more thing that i dont like people to do. i dont expect people to change their lifestyles to fit me. all along i have been saying to people is that if you're the same, great. if not, i'll try to free up time to fit yours into mine.

it's really not easy and tbh im tired too. 9-6/7/8 pm work, then volunteering/teaching/church/gym/friends/social/dinners/hq/events. i try to make time for everyone i care about but if the other party aint willing then not worth it huh?

Z: This is your problem. Republic City is flowing with spiritual energy and you can't even tap into it.
K: No, my problem is you! You poisoned me! You've ruined me! People used to think was unstoppable, but now they don't think I'm capable of anything!
Z: Blaming me is a crutch to make you feel better, but it's not helping you recover.
K: I thought seeing you face-to-face would put an end to all of this. But maybe it's time I realize I'll never be the same.
Z: Neither of us are the same as before. I learned to fly, but now I'm bound in chains. You have all the power in the world and the freedom to use it, but you choose to hold yourself down.
K: I'm not holding myself down, but my powers have limits!
Z: You're wrong. That poison should've killed you, but you were able to fight it off. You think your power has limits; I say, it's limitless.
K: Whatever. Before, you were always talking about chaos and freedom. Then you took out the Earth Queen and created the worst dictator the Earth Kingdom has ever seen. Thanks for that!
Z: I've heard rumors about her, but I didn't know she achieved so much power. She needs to be stopped.
K: Well, I can't stop her unless I get over this block.
Z: I think I can help. Let me lead you into the Spirit World.
K: No way. I can't trust you.
Z: Maybe not. But if you had any other options, you wouldn't be here now, would you? We may have been enemies once, but for now, our interests align.
K: I've come this far. What have I got to lose?

Z: Focus on the sound of my voice and clear your mind. [Korra remembers her fight with Zaheer at the Northern Air Temple, and he begins to suffocate her.] Let it play out.
K: I can't!
Z: You can. Accept what happened to you. Don't fear what might have been.
K: I have no control!
Z: [As Korra falls into a massive vortex of air.] Don't be afraid. Hold on! Korra crashes through the rocky ground, but finds herself in the meadows of the Spirit World.
K: I made it ... and you led me here. Do you know where Jinora and the others are?
Z: No, but you do.
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M: Do you think you're finally able to forget about what Zaheer did to you?
K: No. But I am finally able to accept what happened and I think that's gonna make me stronger.

(: #legendofkorra #learninghowtoacceptthingsinmystride

it's been two months of an emotional roller coaster ride. lots of (bad) stuff have happened but im not the kind to share with people because im prideful. i dont like airing dirty laundry in public and def not the kind who openly admits she needs help. been trying to put what happened into words but unable to express it and i found out that it's really true to my personality

im a ISFJ, also known as the Defender personality

"Bound by fierce commitment, intense responsibility, and deep loyalty, the ISFJ is the embodiment of putting service above self in most aspects of their lives.

Weaknesses

1) Resistant to change

ISFJs regard custom and tradition with the utmost respect and can become anxious with a world they see changing too fast and people who refuse to follow established standards. ISFJs in full "tut-tut/tsk-tsk" mode may convince themselves that moral decay and a loss of respect for personal responsibility are destroying our society from the inside out, and they can become so immersed in pessimism that they will start seeing signs of degeneration and devolution everywhere they look. Diversity of thought and opinion are truly the spices of life, but ISFJs can become so enamored with orthodoxy that they forget this essential fact of existence. 

YES. just happened today. Joanna was telling me how she felt tired catching up with her friend whom she hasnt met in years and i totally agreed. i told her how my social circle revolves around people whom i have known for very long, i have no more energy to meet new people and get to know them and whatever, kinda tired seeing others so easily make new friends and do new stuff and im like just "leave me alone, im happy with my old friends/stuff"

hahaha part 2 true as well? for those who know me, my pet peeves are people who dont have basic work/people etiquette. for those who dont know me, they feel like i have high standards of people. it's not high pls. it's basic. *rolls eyes* also pet peeve for people who dont have standards at all, who dont work hard to improve themselves and think "that's just the way i am, i have no need to change"

2) Too altruistic

Loyalty is an admirable character trait to be sure; but it is a two-way street, and if the people we choose to trust prove to be dishonest or unreliable we must be prepared to walk away. Yet ISFJs struggle with letting go, and have a tendency to stay in it to the bitter end, convinced that this is the only honorable thing to do.

YES and YES. i find it hard to move on from stuff. well strength of ISFJ is that they have a great memory, they're good with detail so probs that's why they find it hard to forget bad stuff though it's taking a toll on them?

3) Take things personally

ISFJs are very private people, bordering on the shy, and this does not always mesh well with more open, unpredictable personality types. The social complexity of the environments they inhabit can overwhelm ISFJs and leave them feeling like square pegs in a universe of round holes. They have trouble dealing with conflict and a tendency to take even minor criticism personally. Combined with their stubborn streak, this can leave ISFJs feeling vulnerable and put upon, and they may resort to judgmental criticism themselves as a defense mechanism.

YES YES AND YES. Kero just said this to me the other day: "You tend to do this a lot, huh." yeah... im sorry. im just not trained to face things head on. i rather just back away and convince everything is my fault so that i have a 台阶to下. i dont wanna argue who's at fault, i'll accept it as mine and lets forget about the whole thing.

4) Overload themselves

ISFJs are known for their terrific work ethic, but over time this positive trait can transmute into workaholism and leave an ISFJ so overloaded that she loses sight of everything else. Workaholic ISFJs can be driven to distraction by their perfectionist tendencies, and even on those rare occasions when they manage to tear themselves away from the office and return home for a while, they will continue to obsess over their latest project or assignment, leaving them too distracted and preoccupied to enjoy their free time.

TRUE ALSO. Didnt want to leave the office today though it was 7pm already cos i couldnt make sense of the numbers and more apt example is that IT'S 2AM NOW AND IM STILL UP BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS ACTIVELY THINKING DEEP THOUGHTS

on the bright side i seem to be in the right job fit for my personality LOL

我累了。
Never knew i could hurt so badly by someone but i guessed it did.
this year hasnt been the smoothest so far and it needs to end right now ):

Went back to the Indian shop at Blk 120 ytd. the Uncle so cute, he ask me why I so long never come already then after I order my drink he ask whether I want prata cos he remembers my order. So sweet 😭😭😭 and then he also said my friends came - two guys, one fat one skinny HAHAHA I think I know who he talking about but that guy not very skinny and the other not really fat luh 😂😂 Uncle I will really miss you and your food, thanks for being as sweet as teh tarik ice though I always drink teh halia ice haha

"Today was a difficult day," said Pooh.

There was a pause.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Piglet.

"No," said Pooh after a bit. "No, I don't think I do."

"That's okay," said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend.

"What are you doing?" asked Pooh.

"Nothing, really," said Piglet. "Only, I know what difficult days are like. I quite often don't feel like talking about it on my difficult days either.

"But goodness," continued Piglet, "Difficult days are so much easier when you know you've got someone there for you. And I'll always be here for you, Pooh."

And as Pooh sat there, working through in his head his difficult day, while the solid, reliable Piglet sat next to him quietly, swinging his little legs...he thought that his best friend had never been more right.

(':