disappointed at how singaporeans are acting at the wuhan crisis.
why govt never ban all china tourists?
china deserves it, always eating disgusting stuff
why govt never provide masks?
why govt never quarantine all those who come back from china?
why govt never control the price of masks?
why govt never do this do that?
and even when now the news have reported that govt will be providing masks to every household,
WHY GOVT ONLY GIVE 4 MASKS?
WHY GOVT MAKE ME GO AND COLLECT FROM RC?
WHY GOVT NEVER MAIL MASK TO MY HOUSE?
gosh. people need to grow up. it's really sad to see singaporeans being so ungrateful. we live in a modern world yet our thoughts seem so backward. so much for trying to be a first-world country when we dont have first-class citizens. and even when barbie hsu managed to get hold of 10,000 pcs of masks and shipped them to wuhan, she was bombarded by her fellow taiwanese saying that she's a betrayer. seriously? lending help to those in need is a good virtue. she's right to say that she hopes her child wont grow up to be a b*****d. i remember how lhl was saying singapore's unity is our first line of defence and im apprehensive that we will even survive the next 5 years. be grateful, singaporeans. you wont find another govt like ours.
Friday, January 31, 2020
Monday, January 6, 2020
crashed csc's teambonding today at nacli heh
we started off with a little bit of ice breaking where we had to sit in two circles (one inner and one outer - facing each other). we had one piece of coloured paper each then we exchanged our papers with the partner sitting opposite us and started drawing. first was just the outline of the partner's face. then after that was done, the outer circle rotated (like speed dating) for 6 times, each time drawing another part of the face (hair, eyes, nose, mouth, ears..so you can imagine 6 different face parts drawn by 6 different people and the end result...totally alien HAHAHHA. i threw mine away already cos so ugly >.<
okay that was just for laughs. but before the actual games started the facilitator was talking about the 3 selves we have - 1. the private self whom we are very well aware of, 2. the public self whom we show to others, and 3. the perceived self whom others view us as, which can be different from the private/public self. reminds me a lot of sociology class where we discussed about identities and all hmm.
then we went down for the actual activities. the first activity was at this "panda forest" place with lots of thick bamboo poles hence the name. it was kinda like a blind leading the blind game cos we were all blindfolded and we had to walk together in a caterpillar formation to find the different checkpoints. hahha not fun bleh >.< but it was supposed to teach about leadership i guess
the second game was much better. we had to make "rafts" using planks to retrieve hula hoops thrown in the grass..with the usual taboos like cannot fall into the grass etc else got penalty. during the programne debrief the facilitator asked one of the guys who he felt went out of his/her comfort zone the most and he said me? cos i apparently did a "gymnastics" stunt during the game when the facilitator took away some of our planks to make the game more difficult hmph and he said that he was surprised i picked up the planks and all. i was like the "gym stunt" was actually not out of my comfort zone, do i look that dainty? haha. hmm. and the facilitator reminded me of the perceived/private self - maybe i do give off a princess vibe :O
but overall very touched that the csc team was very welcoming (': im still undecided whether i would join but glad to know that there's this passionate strong group of people serving the community. jiayou guys!
p.s. we went to the Sembawang hot spring later and was captured on UFM 100.3's live video! :O jodie was washing jo's back with the hot spring water cos he had back pain and i was helping to pull his shirt up :O :O unglam moments LOL
we started off with a little bit of ice breaking where we had to sit in two circles (one inner and one outer - facing each other). we had one piece of coloured paper each then we exchanged our papers with the partner sitting opposite us and started drawing. first was just the outline of the partner's face. then after that was done, the outer circle rotated (like speed dating) for 6 times, each time drawing another part of the face (hair, eyes, nose, mouth, ears..so you can imagine 6 different face parts drawn by 6 different people and the end result...totally alien HAHAHHA. i threw mine away already cos so ugly >.<
okay that was just for laughs. but before the actual games started the facilitator was talking about the 3 selves we have - 1. the private self whom we are very well aware of, 2. the public self whom we show to others, and 3. the perceived self whom others view us as, which can be different from the private/public self. reminds me a lot of sociology class where we discussed about identities and all hmm.
then we went down for the actual activities. the first activity was at this "panda forest" place with lots of thick bamboo poles hence the name. it was kinda like a blind leading the blind game cos we were all blindfolded and we had to walk together in a caterpillar formation to find the different checkpoints. hahha not fun bleh >.< but it was supposed to teach about leadership i guess
the second game was much better. we had to make "rafts" using planks to retrieve hula hoops thrown in the grass..with the usual taboos like cannot fall into the grass etc else got penalty. during the programne debrief the facilitator asked one of the guys who he felt went out of his/her comfort zone the most and he said me? cos i apparently did a "gymnastics" stunt during the game when the facilitator took away some of our planks to make the game more difficult hmph and he said that he was surprised i picked up the planks and all. i was like the "gym stunt" was actually not out of my comfort zone, do i look that dainty? haha. hmm. and the facilitator reminded me of the perceived/private self - maybe i do give off a princess vibe :O
but overall very touched that the csc team was very welcoming (': im still undecided whether i would join but glad to know that there's this passionate strong group of people serving the community. jiayou guys!
p.s. we went to the Sembawang hot spring later and was captured on UFM 100.3's live video! :O jodie was washing jo's back with the hot spring water cos he had back pain and i was helping to pull his shirt up :O :O unglam moments LOL
Thursday, January 2, 2020
Happy New Year!
Why is the new year always happy? haha
2019 was a terrible year tbh. so many unexpected things happened..it feels like i cant seem to get a break from bad things..
it was a year of struggles. other than the usual struggles with my inner demons, there were times where i also struggled with faith, my future, my beliefs..
there were so many things i didnt understand, that i wanted to know the reasons behind, but was left stranded and clueless. i actually hate it when people say that God has a plan for you. if His plan is to make me unhappy, i dont want it. i dont want and dont like it when things go wrong. perhaps im just negative :/
and there were so many times i felt so hopeless and disappointed that i had to cry myself to sleep at the desperation of being unable to find answers
it sucks that i feel a lot inside, though i may act cool and cold on the outside, in actual fact im burying my emotions, can anyone tell?
it also sucks that i am very competitive and jealous - i am super afraid to lose out to others and i often am
it seems like nothing i do is making me become a better person. i still fail i still disappoint and i still meet toxic people. how is that others seem to get their lives in shape at the tender age of 15? to meet the perfect partner, to have family who actually care and understand you..i want that too but it's not possible
people say i put too much expectations of myself but it's not true. i just want a job which i love, a loving family, to not meet toxic people and for people around me to stop being sick and to stop dying.
perhaps maybe if we were in the Good Place we'll never feel sad/angry/tired/disappointed again. like eleanor says, only when we stop having debts/worries/troubles can we then focus on being better people i guess
it's really been a tiring year but i guess im ready to start anew
May the tears you cried in 2019 water the seeds you’re planting for 2020
p.s. just realized this photo is blur!
Sunday, December 15, 2019
Insomnia woes again. time check. it's 4.37am. been trying to get to sleep for the past 3h but cant. meh.
there's lots of thoughts on my mind. mostly triggered by the early "merry xmas-es" that people have been wishing. it's 16 days to the end of a decade!!! where has all the time gone? i still remember myself celebrating end of 2018 at nss with the usual fireworks and then setting 2019 goals....out of which i have only completed one? >.<
in retrospect it hasnt been a great year. it started out okay then things started going downhill from halfway..july and august were the hardest months for me. a lot of unexpected stuff happened but..ah wells. time to move on.
on the other hand, had a lot of self-care and self-check moments this year. i used to wish i could be more mature but this year im going to ask for self-sustenance instead. this topic came up when i was having a convo with the mentor Alan. i thought being mature meant being able to take in others' comments without being judgemental, and to know the right thing to do at the right time and making sure that others did the same, but he asked me why i was so bothered with others not doing the right thing. he said that i should accept things the way they are, that they happened and that i wont be able to change things, nor that i need to change things.
there were lots of times i nearly gave up this year. with the kids, with work, with friends, with family with life. there were lots of times i felt so burnt out i just wanted to run away. but i got through them and this is going to make me a stronger person i hope? not hoping much for the rest of 2019, just want it to be peaceful.
may 2020 be a better year (:
there's lots of thoughts on my mind. mostly triggered by the early "merry xmas-es" that people have been wishing. it's 16 days to the end of a decade!!! where has all the time gone? i still remember myself celebrating end of 2018 at nss with the usual fireworks and then setting 2019 goals....out of which i have only completed one? >.<
in retrospect it hasnt been a great year. it started out okay then things started going downhill from halfway..july and august were the hardest months for me. a lot of unexpected stuff happened but..ah wells. time to move on.
on the other hand, had a lot of self-care and self-check moments this year. i used to wish i could be more mature but this year im going to ask for self-sustenance instead. this topic came up when i was having a convo with the mentor Alan. i thought being mature meant being able to take in others' comments without being judgemental, and to know the right thing to do at the right time and making sure that others did the same, but he asked me why i was so bothered with others not doing the right thing. he said that i should accept things the way they are, that they happened and that i wont be able to change things, nor that i need to change things.
there were lots of times i nearly gave up this year. with the kids, with work, with friends, with family with life. there were lots of times i felt so burnt out i just wanted to run away. but i got through them and this is going to make me a stronger person i hope? not hoping much for the rest of 2019, just want it to be peaceful.
may 2020 be a better year (:
Thursday, December 5, 2019
Does God want you to be happy?
https://thoughtcatalog.com/marisa-donnelly/2018/01/sometimes-god-uses-the-tough-moments-to-bring-us-back-to-him/
ive been struggling with this for a while now. it seems like the more i do the more unhappy i am.
it just seems like bad stuff never stop coming. been serving for so long but it doesnt get me where i want to be. no good job no good relationships no promotion but still having insomnia still fat still breaking out omg zzz
funny how you always say this is your worst year but then you get through it and the next year becomes your worst year. will there ever be a good year?
https://thoughtcatalog.com/marisa-donnelly/2018/01/sometimes-god-uses-the-tough-moments-to-bring-us-back-to-him/
ive been struggling with this for a while now. it seems like the more i do the more unhappy i am.
it just seems like bad stuff never stop coming. been serving for so long but it doesnt get me where i want to be. no good job no good relationships no promotion but still having insomnia still fat still breaking out omg zzz
funny how you always say this is your worst year but then you get through it and the next year becomes your worst year. will there ever be a good year?
Saturday, November 30, 2019
introduced my mum to the hk drama the Ghetto-Fabulous Lady starring Adia Chan. it's a twisted and dark drama but i really liked it because it accurately portrays the ugly nature of humans. how humans are forced by circumstances to do certain things that their natural and rational selves wouldnt, the real divide between the upper class and the lower class (which is not money!), how it's so scary to be uneducated and how the only way to progress out of the vicious cycle of poverty is to grab hold of opportunities (be it against your morals, and with much criticism and hate from those around you) else accept life and continue being used by those in power.
the drama plot is still acting out in reality here, we still have "uneducated" people and what they do is just to complain about how life has unfairly dealt the cards and that they are entitled to "benefits" and "hand-outs" by the "richer" ones just because they are richer. but the truth is, being born poor is one thing, being ignorant is another. its infuriating how there are some people who feel like the country/people around them owe them a living, and they conveniently forget how they are able to receive help is because the "richer", more "blessed" ones WANT to offer their help and it's not a given because we are living in a democratic/meritocratic world and not a communist world.
i felt in particular the most for Jeannie Chan and her mysterious/secretive past. it was really intense character development for her role and i think she said in an interview that she hated this role cos of all the negativity the character felt. one thing i felt the most alike was the fact that true empathy is not about understanding the other party's circumstances and being in the person's shoes, but rather true empathy is doing everything for the person such that he/she will never be in the same situation you ever went through ):
some parts very drama (as usual la) but towards the end when the story unfolds you'll just feel sad (and empty) ): and one question the drama will leave you pondering is, is it possible to stay morally upright and honest all your life?
the drama plot is still acting out in reality here, we still have "uneducated" people and what they do is just to complain about how life has unfairly dealt the cards and that they are entitled to "benefits" and "hand-outs" by the "richer" ones just because they are richer. but the truth is, being born poor is one thing, being ignorant is another. its infuriating how there are some people who feel like the country/people around them owe them a living, and they conveniently forget how they are able to receive help is because the "richer", more "blessed" ones WANT to offer their help and it's not a given because we are living in a democratic/meritocratic world and not a communist world.
i felt in particular the most for Jeannie Chan and her mysterious/secretive past. it was really intense character development for her role and i think she said in an interview that she hated this role cos of all the negativity the character felt. one thing i felt the most alike was the fact that true empathy is not about understanding the other party's circumstances and being in the person's shoes, but rather true empathy is doing everything for the person such that he/she will never be in the same situation you ever went through ):
some parts very drama (as usual la) but towards the end when the story unfolds you'll just feel sad (and empty) ): and one question the drama will leave you pondering is, is it possible to stay morally upright and honest all your life?
Saturday, November 9, 2019
p.s long overdue post! i actually started this 3 weeks ago and it's been lying in my draft since..
of conversations and commitments
had a lot of good conversations last week (ie 13 Oct)
last week the kiddos went to jewel to celebrate children's day and i didnt tag along so i had a good 2h of peace and mental freedom to myself after service (do you know rare it is hahha) anyway i decided to go to toast box to sit and chill. but before that i met grace, a junior who's about 5 (?) years younger than me. known her for a while since lishi days; she's a very strong girl - she's from a single parent family and her mum passed away when she was in sec school leaving only her younger brother and her ): she's been staying with her aunt since whom she treats as her godma aww but she isnt very negative about life and still keeps her smile on always (: anyway she's in SMU year 3 now so sometimes she will come ask me for advice on school stuff. now she's interning and so that day she saw me at teabreak and wanted to catch up with me on life. she's quite cute she was very anxious about working life because she said at cell group all the working people were praying about politics in the workplace hahhaha so she was asking me a lot of questions. our talk was brief cos she had to go for class but nonetheless meaningful
then after that i walked back to the carpark and sat down to wait for my uncle then ailin laoshi came over to sit with me and she started asking about my serving in the community cos she saw my photo with ms lee and how she admired that and i also complimented her on her serving cos i saw her face plastered on her company van (her company is a elderly healthcare provider) HAHA and then we had a very deep convo on society, on the deserving/entitled people we meet while serving and more. i sometimes wish i could talk to my mum on that kind of level hahha but anyway just very glad to have her as one of the mentorly figures i could always approach in life (': i rmb after jc while choosing uni courses she was so supportive of my decision she kept urging me to talk to her son about it cos her son was in the course i badly wanted whereas my mum would only tell me to stop living in myunicorn flamingo world meh [cos they're both pinkish sort of and i actually have at least 3 flamingo items haha] :/ anyway i didnt get into my dream course but i moved on so let bygones by bygones. meh.
but overall it was really a good week mentally (': really appreciate 1 on 1 conversations with people ((:
of conversations and commitments
had a lot of good conversations last week (ie 13 Oct)
last week the kiddos went to jewel to celebrate children's day and i didnt tag along so i had a good 2h of peace and mental freedom to myself after service (do you know rare it is hahha) anyway i decided to go to toast box to sit and chill. but before that i met grace, a junior who's about 5 (?) years younger than me. known her for a while since lishi days; she's a very strong girl - she's from a single parent family and her mum passed away when she was in sec school leaving only her younger brother and her ): she's been staying with her aunt since whom she treats as her godma aww but she isnt very negative about life and still keeps her smile on always (: anyway she's in SMU year 3 now so sometimes she will come ask me for advice on school stuff. now she's interning and so that day she saw me at teabreak and wanted to catch up with me on life. she's quite cute she was very anxious about working life because she said at cell group all the working people were praying about politics in the workplace hahhaha so she was asking me a lot of questions. our talk was brief cos she had to go for class but nonetheless meaningful
then after that i walked back to the carpark and sat down to wait for my uncle then ailin laoshi came over to sit with me and she started asking about my serving in the community cos she saw my photo with ms lee and how she admired that and i also complimented her on her serving cos i saw her face plastered on her company van (her company is a elderly healthcare provider) HAHA and then we had a very deep convo on society, on the deserving/entitled people we meet while serving and more. i sometimes wish i could talk to my mum on that kind of level hahha but anyway just very glad to have her as one of the mentorly figures i could always approach in life (': i rmb after jc while choosing uni courses she was so supportive of my decision she kept urging me to talk to her son about it cos her son was in the course i badly wanted whereas my mum would only tell me to stop living in my
but overall it was really a good week mentally (': really appreciate 1 on 1 conversations with people ((:
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